*SPOILERS ALERT - DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DIDN'T WATCH THE ENDING*

I tend to avoid sad/bittersweet endings but I succumbed to the tentation of both actors. The story seemed also original (with so much focus on the court maids) and oh boy do I have mixed feelings now! It was certainly a roller coaster of emotions.

Even not knowing the history or novel behind the drama, I thought the "meet-cute" from the beginning of the drama was inevitably meant to falter and be replaced by the cruel reality of a doomed love between a king and a court maid. The director really didn't shy away from showing the viewers the very different personnalities of our 2 main characters. For exemple, the king's possevive behavior first shown in the library scene when he nearly chokes her was the start of a relationship based on a power imbalance that's not often represented in other historical kdramas (well at least it wasn't the case for the few i have seen).

The actors were all amazing, I think it's the first time I even cried for the more "villainous" characters (the king/San's grandfather, his aunt and her stepson, the head court lady who only wanted to protect the court ladies...). Moreover I wasn't bored at all and it's quite exceptionnal for me, I even wished the drama was longer (20 episodes).

I saw a few comments saying that Sung Deok Im didn't love the king and I dare to disagree. Her actions showed well enough that she had very strong feelings for him but she knew very well that the price of her love would cost her everything (her freedom, friends, daily activities...). Even if San didn't hesitate to show his affection toward her, she knew that his nation would always come first (he even refused to save her a few times because that would be against the rules). So can we really blame her knowing that ? It's not a fairytale story, their love can be considered beautiful but is mainly sad and cruel. Like she said in the drama: she would lose "everything" if she agreed to become his concubine and in a way she really did (it depends on how the viewer interprets the ending but even so, it's the truth that her freedom is entirely taken away from her = "gilded prison").

Saying that, it doesn't mean I didn't cry my heart out during ep 17. I was a literal mess when I finished the drama at 3 in the morning. I think the characters and their stories will haunt me for many days to come… Concerning the final minutes, I will say that all of it was a bad dream (no need to prove me wrong, I know that the final dialogue tend to prove the contrary but I will die on this hill. My mental health definitely needs it lol) The thing that « comforts » me in this regard is the fact that Deok Im doesn’t say « I love you » back to the king : if it was all in his head as a last dream before death, I think San (well his subconscious) would have « forced » her to say it because this is the thing he wanted to hear the most. So the fact that she didn’t say it makes me think that it was really her and not a mere figment of his imagination. I also found it weird that when we encountered the « first » dream scene, the director didn’t show us what made San seemed so lost and afraid. He doesn’t even explain his reaction to Deok Im. So (and excuse me for the maybe cheesy comparison) I will say that it was like the scene in the last Twilight movie when the whole final battle is in fact just a vision of a possible future. San chose to stay with Deok Im because he remembered the pain he endured in this dream. Maybe he will succeed in changing the future, or at least some events, or maybe not. But he will clearly try to « protect the woman he loves until the end », unlike his grandfather.

The only think that I regret was the quick succession of events in the last ep, I wish we could have more scenes of them « happy » or at least officially together between all the heaviness and sadness. The death of the crown prince was so cruel, even more so because the flashback of his birth was shown after the scene in which he passed away… Well I suppose that if we assume all of this was mainly a dream, then the desire to see them happy isn’t really needed, because the viewer can imagine the rest as they wish starting from San waking up from his dream/nightmare.

To conclude, I really hope our 2 actors can work again together in the future. A drama with the reincarnation trope based on Deok Im’s line « If you see me in the next like, I hope you will pass me by/pretend not to know me » would be perfect (with a clear happy ending this time pretty please).