Hero on the Half Shell!

Gamera was given a much needed make-over in the 1990's. This Gamera was not only deadly but also a guardian created by an ancient race. Good thing, because just as Gamera was awakened so were a flock, gaggle, murder, probably the latter, of people eating bat-birds, the Gyaos. In their original 1960's confrontation, Gyaos was referred to as a bat, here she was referred to as a bird.

When the humans decided to lure the ravenous bat-birds to the new baseball stadium so that they could trap and weaponize, I mean study them, Gamera wasn't having it and came to eradicate Tokyo of the dangerous creatures. Like the original Gyaos, this bat-bird could emit green sonic rays that could cut through almost anything.

Gamera could hold his tusked head high in comparison to 1990's Godzilla. This time around there was no annoying child which helped my viewing experience enormously. There were the requisite scientists, condemnations of pollution and nuclear waste, inept leaders and military, and the special child who communicated telepathically with Gamera. The thing Gamera gets right is that the monsters were never far from the screen. The battles were big as were the stakes. The shadow of Jurassic Park could be seen occasionally but that's a small quibble. The rubber suits and primitive CGI are not drawbacks in these Kaiju movies, but part of their charm. The miniatures were quite good as well.

This was a popcorn movie simply designed to entertain. Though darker than most previous Gamera movies, it was still a giant turtle who could fly by burning off his own methane excretions. And that's something you don't see every day. If you are a fan of Kaiju movies, this might be one to try. And if you are a Gamera fan, this one should certainly be on your list to watch. It was worth seeing Gamera given the respect and story he deserved.

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Just Say No to Drugs!

Just say no to drugs--even if you are a kung fu master!

While Opium and the Kung Fu Master follows the standard kung fu movie formula it does deviate by interjecting a real story with real consequences in between fights. Master Tie Qiao San (Ti Lung), one of the famous Ten Tigers of Kwantung, protects the village where his school is located from evil doers. Robert Mak as Lu Gua Si is his protégé, a good-hearted if not completely proficient fighter. Chen Kuan Tai's Rong Feng is an opium dealer who joins forces with the opposing school's leader, Zheng Hong, played by Lee Hoi Sang. The bad guys set up an opium den and one by one the village men begin to succumb to the siren call of the opium, forgetting their jobs and families. Master Tie San is not immune and falls victim to it as well, losing his kung fu abilities. His addiction gives the Big Bads run of the town and in the process Tie San loses loved ones because of his inaction.

The acting was about average for a kung fu film. Ti Lung was adept with his kung fu skills and projecting the calm, skilled martial arts master, but stumbled at times as a recovering addict. Chen Kuan Tai seemed to relish playing the Bad Guy, all he needed was a long mustache to twirl. Robert Mak pleasantly fulfilled his assignment of playing the earnest young fighter who tried to wake his master and the villagers from their stupor before it was too late. Overall, the acting was sufficient in this one, though there were a few deaths which made me giggle with their abruptness.

This was Tang Chia's third and last film as a director, he was better known for his work as a martial arts director. It's a shame he didn't helm more kung fu movies as he did a good job with this one.

The fights and choreography were fast, fluid and involved fists, kicks, and various weapons. The main actors were all proficient in martial arts and made the fights believable. No dancing around and posing in this movie. Though there were deaths, the gore was kept to a minimum.

Even if Opium and the Kung Fu Master isn't perfect, it's not a bad way to spend 85 minutes if you enjoy old kung fu movies. Just say no to drugs, but yes to this movie or at least maybe.

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Clan of the White Lotus is an unofficial sequel of sorts to Executioners from Shaolin. Lo Lieh directs and stars in this film and he seems to take particular delight in playing the powerful, evil kung fu master. His character is one of the definitive bad guys of kung fu movies showing confidence, skill, humor, and malevolence. Gordon Liu stars as the young man (Chen Kuan Tai played the character in Executioners) who had helped bring down the bad guy in the original movie but who is initially no match for this new white bearded master. Again, it's a loose adaptation and the ending from Executioners doesn't match up with the beginning of White Lotus, but that's a small quibble when it comes to kung fu movies.

The story is the familiar, “you killed my loved ones, prepare to die!” revenge plot. After being beaten by the bearded master Liu must train in new styles. What gave this movie a positive twist for me, as in the last one, it was a woman who gave him the additional guidance he needed. Kara Hui plays the woman who helps him and she is a joy to watch fight and train. Liu must open his mind as he learns a woman's style and control over his abilities. He was in fine form in this movie, displaying three different kung fu styles.

Lau Kar Leung directed the martial arts scenes, of which there were many. He is becoming my favorite kung fu choreographer. Unlike some movies, the fighting is fast and furious, still slowed down enough to follow but not the more tedious staged posing fights. One scene with a mostly naked Lo Lieh fighting as he comes out of his luxurious hot tub, trying to get dressed while fending off Liu, was fun to watch. Normally in kung fu movies it's the women who have to bare it all for the camera. It's nice to have the roles reversed for once.

The sets and costumes weren’t as nice as in some Shaw Brothers movies. The version available to me was dubbed which is always a disappointment. Lam Fai Wong played the comic side-kick and punching bag, but a little of him went a long way.

Clan of the White Lotus made for an entertaining, but most likely not memorable, 90-minute watch. Lo Lieh's villain is what I will most likely carry with me. As always, I’m slightly generous with my kung fu scores recognizing they were for a specific audience forty years ago on limited budgets.

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Chang Cheh and three of the Five Venoms bring on the bone crushing, blood spurting violence in this kung fu fight fest. It's Shaolin vs Wudang and in this ruthless battle few winners emerge.

I found the story tedious as there was very little emotional depth to any of the characters. The good guy Shaolin disciples were laughably gullible and the Wudang bad guys were ruthless to the core. The only glimmer of an interesting story to me was Chin Siu Ho's character who was caught in between the two factions, always trying to do the right thing even when he wasn't sure what it was. The movie felt like it was three hours long. I kept checking the clock to see if time was slowing down as I watched it.

The poor Shaolin fighters sported bad Bruce Lee wigs with a long braided ponytail like a bad mullet gone even more horribly wrong. Aside from the two female characters I don't think anyone was on makeup duty for this movie either except to apply "blood" where needed. Chang Cheh had a reputation for being cheap and it showed in the sets and costumes as well.

Chang also had a reputation for bloodiness in his movies and he fulfilled that as well. One person was killed by having his family jewels ripped out, another had blood spurting out of his head. The body count was high in this one. The only positive for me in this movie is there were very intricately staged fights, often among numerous participants with fists and a variety of weapons. Chiang Sheng, Lu Feng and Philip Kwok choreographed some very creative fights. Lo Meng is the bigger fighter and he relied on his power while Chiang Sheng is smaller and more acrobatic. Having said that, the fight scenes felt more like a dance routine with lots of posing and not a lot of connections with fists or feet.

I would have rated this movie lower except that I was impressed with the work and coordination that went into the duels and three ring brawls. In the same way the kicks and punches never seemed to connect, this movie didn't connect with me either.

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Math Kills

Lo Lieh plays a local constable who is after a group of murderous bandits. Some of kung fu's heavy hitters play the four baddies. One villain uses a golden abacus and spins golden balls of death into his opponents. One bad buy uses geese shaped throwing stars. The Big Bad has a spinning umbrella of death and a rod with a chain that has a blade attached at the end so that he can reel an opponent in(killer fishing rod?).

No emotional depth to this movie. Lots of bloody sword fights. Lo's men always seem to be underprepared or vastly outnumbered. This movie will also help explain the old saying of, "I'll be waiting for you in the tall grass."

Lo's character wasn't terribly bright-- the bad guys had been hiding in plain sight for two years, but that's okay because eventually he is helped by the equally not too bright blind daughter of the Big Bad. If ever there was a couple made to be together these two pretty people are it. It's a kung fu movie so what could possibly go wrong?

Some of the reasons to watch are as always for me Lo Lieh. He's gorgeous, looks dangerous, and is adept at the fight scenes. Li Ching plays the beautiful and pure of heart blind daughter. A young David Chiang plays LL's brother and it's a who's who of supporting characters. With all this talent and Chang Cheh directing there is plenty of action to go around.

The music was fine, the cinematography wasn't bad and the movie was in pretty good shape. I say that because some of these movies have been edited to fit different screens and sometimes the subtitles either run off the screen or have two languages overlaid.

I wouldn't trip running to the TV or your computer to watch it, but if you have an hour-and-a-half to kill, it's never a waste of time spending it with Lo Lieh and friends.

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Like two men out of an old American Western, Lo Lieh and the Big Bad slung daggers with pin-point accuracy and at distance. Lo once again plays the gruff loner with a heart of gold. Cheng Pei Pei and her family are the ones in need of help this time. She started a clan war when she killed the Big Bad's son after he committed a heinous and gratuitous crime in the opening minutes. If not for Lo Lieh I would have dropped the movie right there.

The first twenty minutes or so are scenes of Pei Pei's clan being decimated by the Big Bad and his endless stream of murdering, torturing, minions. Lots of spurting blood, but after awhile tedious to watch. Her fortunes changed and so did mine when Lo finally showed up. A little romance in the last part of the movie gave Lo and Pei Pei's characters more depth, too bad the writers didn't develop the relationship earlier and better.

The clarity of the movie was a relief, some of these old kung fu movies have lost much of their visual integrity and sound. Fortunately, this version of the movie was NOT dubbed on Amazon Prime.

Final evaluation, most likely a movie for Lo Lieh or Pei Pei fans or those working their way through the Shaw Brothers inventory.

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Lo Lieh is the man. There I laid my bias out on the table.

I enjoyed this kung fun movie which was more sword fighting than hand-to-hand. The plot was coherent, the sword fights were creative and entertaining, the story moved along at a good pace, and it actually had a proper ending. Too many kung fu movies throw up the ending credits the second the final fight is over. This one took a couple of extra minutes to wrap the story up. Lo Lieh also pulled one of the best moves I’ve ever seen in a sword fight when his sword was broken.

This movie must have been remastered because the color and lighting were vibrant. The outdoor sets were well done, especially the kiln scenes. Given it was a Shaw Brothers movie the indoor sets had enough wooden furniture and walls to be broken to bits during the fight scenes. Unlike some kung fu movies the acting was natural and not over the top. Lo Lieh, Li Ching, Wang Hsieh, and Chen Yan Yan did admirable jobs of conveying their parts.

There were no snakes in this movie, despite the title, except for the sleazy human kind. People did lose body parts during the fights-a forewarning if you are very squeamish.

Valley of the Fangs was an entertaining way to spend 90 minutes on a Sunday night.

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It’s Buddha palm vs Mantis fist in a royal rumble featuring two exciting Kung Fu actors-Lo Lieh and Carter Wong.

Lo Lieh is trying to find his master who was betrayed by his own brother. Besides betraying his brother, Carter Wong is busy manipulating a tournament to select the next chief so that it will end in his favor. Lo Lieh goes for the twofer and attempts to find his master and stop Carter Wong. There are double crosses, double-double crosses, twists and turns and of course a lot of fighting. Killer from Above does inject a little levity into all the death and betrayals.

The biggest drawback to this movie is the camera work. It’s like the director figured out some tricks he could do with the camera and threw in a lot of ridiculous shots: the swirling shot, upside-down shot, rapid close-ups and the like. Fortunately, he seemed to tire of them after the first quarter of the movie and settled down for the rest.

I’m always pleased when a kung fu movie has a plausible plot and follows through fairly logically and the twists and turns make sense. In that, this movie succeeded. Above all, Killer from Above has a great cast-Lo Lieh, Carter Wong, Lung Fei, and Cliff Lok. I grade Kung Fu movies on a different scale because these movies were for a specific audience 40-50 years ago. Killer from Above may not be an award winner but Lo Lieh and Carter Wong were entertaining, the fights were good and the story was engaging. If you enjoy kung fu movies, it’s not a bad way to spend 90 minutes.

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This movie looked like a collection of violent buddy cop movie clichés sewn on top of a Lethal Weapon template. There were Hong Kongers, Filipinos, Americans, and one of the dubbers had an Australian accent.

Were the bad guys drug dealers, counterfeiters or just bad guys in general?

The music ranged from Lethal Weapon rip-off riffs, to organ music from a 1950’s Dracula movie, to music your brother wrote in the basement on his cheap sound effects keyboard, to literally an Anne Murray country song.

The lighting was awful. If Donnie Yen is in a fight scene, the audience should be able to see him at work. At other times, the director kept using shots either super close-up or shots looking up the actors’ noses.

The only redeeming qualities for me were Donnie Yen (always!) and Roy Cheung. Donnie excels at playing the quiet, brooding good guy. Roy Cheung’s charisma came through even this script. Both were way better than the material they were asked to bring to life.

If you are a fan of bad 1990’s cop flicks or a Donnie Yen completist, this movie may be up your alley. For others, you may want to skip this one.

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I grade Kung Fu movies on a different scale, they were for a specific audience 40-50 years ago. This movie with Billy Chong was entertaining. He's the real deal, not just someone who looks like a fighter. The fights came fast and furious from the opening scenes to the last, more creative and acrobatic than bloody and brutal.

The brief love interest was dropped as the fighting increased. This movie could have used more charismatic characters and even a modicum of character development or insight. As delightful as the fight scenes were it did start to feel like one too many drum solos. If you enjoy kung fu movies this one is worth giving a try to watch Billy show different fighting techniques. He's quick and agile and fun to watch, just don't expect much story to go along with his fighting skills.

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"Godzilla -- I was hoping I would never hear that name again"

The Return of Godzilla wanted to be a direct sequel to the original Godzilla from 1954. It was a stepping stone to the more modern Hesei era. Darker in tone, with endless political discussions it failed at being a bad good movie or a good bad movie and fell into the abyss of mediocrity.

The threat of WWIII loomed over the beginning of the movie when a Russian sub was destroyed by an awakened Godzilla. Thinking it was the Americans everyone was on standby for world annihilation. Fortunately, the Japanese, who had been hiding the fact they knew Godzilla was stirring around once again came clean with the rest of the world and disaster, at least for the moment, was averted.

Serious does not have to be a synonym for boring. I wish that had been the case with this movie. Political discussion, urgent diplomacy, and the threat of nuclear disaster could be enormously thrilling if written and acted well. Again, not the case. With all the time spent on the humans it would have been nice if the main characters had been developed. Again, not the case.

By the time the big guy showed up stomping on the city I was almost on his side if it would stop the self-important discussions. This Godzilla still had the awkward look from the 70's era which was fine when there was an element of humor and it was aimed at kids. This Godzilla was supposed to be the world destroyer though and he wasn't very menacing looking even with the new razor-like teeth.

The action scenes lacked energy as well. I found myself wondering how many people went AWOL when they were assigned tank or helicopter duty in the useless task of shooting conventional and even laser weapons at Big G. There were a few call back scenes from the original Godzilla, but that seemed cheap as the original Godzilla actually had some depth to it.

The only version I had to watch was a badly dubbed version which didn't have much bearing on my rating. I'm used to dubs with Godzilla and kung fu movies. In this one the Russians sounded like they were from Scotland, the Americans all sounded like they were from the state of Texas and the Japanese accents ranged from British, Texan, and from Boston (city in the state of Massachusetts).

The trick to finally drive Godzilla away was fairly bizarre given the serious nature of the movie and quite frankly by the end I think he was just as anxious to leave that mess as I was to finish the movie.

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Full disclosure, the eight-year-old in me cannot not watch a Godzilla movie when it comes on. I can always find some entertainment value in these kinds of movies, until today.

I'll start with the good. The miniatures were amazing as always. The houses, cars, trucks, and trains were spot on. Godzilla was a little thin, but not the worst I've seen. Kong finally falls for woman who is not a blonde. Unfortunately, Fumiko spent most of her time unconscious while in Kong's hand. That's it. That's all I've got.

Now the bad. Whoever designed Kong had obviously never seen a gorilla. Or maybe it was a great costume to start with but was accidentally mauled by a pack of dogs and the production company was over budget and didn't have the money for a new one. The crowd overlays made the people look like blue ghosts. Kong can be controlled by a drink made out of the berries indigenous to his island. The locals get him drunk every night until he passes out to keep him under control. mmmmkay. The ending was an ambiguous mess.

Now, the really bad. I know that this movie was a product of it's times (1962) and we cannot retroactively go back and fix it. Having said that, seeing the islanders portrayed by Japanese actors in black face and curly wigs was a horrible sight for my modern eyes. This is not to disparage the Japanese, 1962 was a bad time where I live if you weren't white. Just to throw salt in the wound the company men on the island seeking Kong and the magical berries handed cigarettes out to the islanders to win them over---even the kids!

All of these movies are dated, but this one more than any other that I have seen does not hold up---at all.

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