Understanding Love (2022)

LOVE ISN’T BLACK AND WHITE, NEITHER IS LIFE!

***DISCLAIMER: This is just my opinion after watching the drama in it's entirety. I will try to remain unbiased and give an honest review. We don’t have to agree and I’m not here to argue with anyone.***

This show should really be called “The Price / Cost of Love” , “Understanding Love” , “Walking With You” , “The Time of Us” or “Sandcastle” (iykyk❤️)

I enjoyed this drama so much. Contrary to popular belief that this show is “ trash” blah blah blah (insert other bad comments / non-constructive criticism) I feel like it was realistic and people can take various life lessons from it. The biggest lesson that was emphasized was for people to stop sitting around wondering “what if” and instead seize the day, go after what you want / who you want because it might turn into a missed opportunity and you will have to live with regret. The second was don’t make rash decisions in the spur of the moment or lie because you’re afraid of confronting and dealing with your feelings. And lastly, stop running away from your problems because they will eventually catch up to you.

Imo this drama was refreshing considering I’d only ever known Moon Ga Young in juvenile roles. It was nice to see her portray an adult and go through “grown up” issues. I feel like I can finally relate and empathize with her character now.

General Overview:

Su Yeong is a young woman with a dismissive avoidant attachment style who struggles with depression, scars from the past, grief from her brother's death and a broken relationship with her family. She first meets Sang Su when he comes to the bank and she’s his senior who has to train him and help him learn all the tricks to being a bank clerk. They got closer and she really was there for him. Fast forward 3 years later he has been getting promoted while she has remained in the same position. Su Yeong feels as though her life is stagnant and she won’t move forward in her career compared to her peers because they all have college degrees whereas she does not. She develops a bit of a complex because of this and realizes no matter how hard she works or tries she’ll never get promoted. She realizes her place in society as she is from a poor background and has no degree. Everyone looks down on her and makes up rumors about her even though they don’t have a clue about who she is. Sang Su seemingly has a crush on Su Yeong and at the beginning of the drama he attempts to pursue her. They go on one date and agree to go on another however when Sang Su was on his way to meet Su Yeong he hesitates. She can see him from the restaurant… notices his hesitation in coming to see her and she feels horrible. She immediately leaves and essentially shuts him out of her life.

As the story goes along you kind of understand why Su Yeong ignores him and pushes him away. For the first time in her life she was willing to let someone in and truly be happy but in the end she realizes they would’ve never worked out because of their places in society. She ultimately decides it’s better for her to go on without him and pretends to date Jong Hyeon instead at first to get rid of Sang Su and quell her feelings for him but along the way you can see her tenderness for Jong Hyeon as she feels sorry for his unfortunate circumstances and invites him to live with her instead of quitting his job as a security guard and moving away. Enter Mi Gyeong — a college friend of Sang Su who is clearly into him and will do anything to get him wrapped around her little finger. She eventually senses that there is something between Sang Su and Su Yeong and goes out of her way to befriend Su Yeong by giving her gifts, taking her to dinner and finding out what she likes / dislikes. Anything to keep Su Yeong at bay and also guilt trip her into backing off from Sang Su for the sake of friendship. If keep your friends close and your enemies closer was a person, that would be Mi Gyeong. Nevertheless, her plan doesn’t work out because as it is Su Yeong and Sang Su are incapable of staying away from each other.

There’s a lot of unnecessary drama in between of them fighting feelings for one another, entering relationships they had no business being in because they were still hung up on each other / pining for each other unintentionally. There was literally no need for them to bring other characters into their business/drama. I hated Mi Gyeong, Gyeong Pil, and Jong Hyeon just a little bit more than usual because even when they found out the truth they tried so hard to make Sang Su and Su Yeong’s life more unbearable. That to me proved that their desires were more important than what the people they claimed to “love” needed. If that’s not selfish idk what is. People can call Sang Su and Su Yeong selfish for wanting to break up with them but they were selfish in different ways. Like be so frl, I got sick of them acting like they got the short end of the stick and were done the worst injustice by Sang Su and Su Yeong breaking up with them. Like sometimes people have to make tough decisions for themselves even if it hurts someone else’s feelings. I feel like Su Yeong and Sang Su both always spent their lives putting others before themselves and the one time – THE ONE TIME, they wanted to choose themselves (be selfish) and go after love / the person they truly wanted to be with it was such a huge problem. At least they weren’t trying to stay with their partners and cheat behind their backs. That would’ve been so much worse / messy. The worst part is that they both tried so hard to spare Mi Gyeong and Jong Hyeon feelings but ended up doing the opposite and hurting themselves in the process. They even admitted their faults and apologized multiple times but somehow it was never enough… especially for Mi Gyeong.

Lmao don’t let me get started on her. I just hate how she pretends to be a “nice girl” when she is in fact very self-centered and mean. She befriended Su Yeong because she sensed that there was something going on between her and Sang Su and she thought that if she was nice to her and kept on buying her things she’d feel guilty and back off. It was so disgusting to me the way she’d worm around situations and try to have everyone bend to her will. She wanted to be so different from her father but eventually she realized she was just like him and then defended him by saying "that’s probably how he shows love"??? That was bullsh*t. Not her condoning her father's actions in order to justify hers, then perpetuating her continuous desire to control everyone and everything by trying to buy their favor.

In my humble opinion, Sang Su and Su Yeong’s moments were precious… anytime they talked — really talked and listened to each other on long walks, drank (playing the “truth” / “lying” game), or hung out by the seaside — it was really beautiful. I felt their emotions pull on my heartstrings and bring me to the point of tears several times. For me, it was like “How can two people be so right for each other yet not stand a singular chance of being together?” They had mutual understanding, comfort, and peace whenever they were with each other. The harsh reality is that both were stupid and allowed society and other people's opinions of them ruin what they had. People told them they shouldn’t and couldn’t be together and they believed them instead of believing in their relationship and what they had.

Her leaving Sang Su the last time — I’m sure he saw it coming. She always runs away except this time he decided not to chase after her because he felt like that’s what she wanted, he respected her choice and decided to give her space. Even after four years passed, Sang Su always kept Su Yeong close to his heart. While I’m sure he respected her decision he just couldn’t understand it. I’m guessing Su Yeong just wanted to disappear and have a fresh start but I’m sure a part of her also wanted Sang Su to chase after her or convince her to stay. It’s so messed up when someone feels like a burden and that they’re to blame for all the misfortunes that happen to them in their life. It’s like they feel like they deserve it but ultimately they also think they deserve nothing at all. This is why I can understand Su Yeong distancing herself from everyone and not believing she deserved love or even happiness.

One thing I disliked about this drama was the miscommunication trope. Don’t get me wrong it’s okay when it’s done right but there were a lot of moments you know could’ve been fixed with a simple conversation. Sang Su would’ve listened to her and appreciated the truth. There was so much sneaking around and lying for no reason. Like I can try and understand/empathize with Su Yeong’s reasons… she rather destroy everyone/everything and burn it all to the ground + run away rather than face and conquer her greatest fears. She is distant, cold unfeeling, and avoidant but that legit doesn’t excuse her always wanting to run away / disappear. Sang Su on the other hand never speaks his mind and prefers to suffer in silence / take on the weight of other people's problems. Yes, I get that he’s protective and always wants to save the day but lol some girls (ie. Su Yeong) don’t want to be saved. They just want to be understood and seen/heard for once in their life. Yeah, it sucks but that’s pretty much what I got from their dynamic. In the end, it worked because they really balanced each other out.

Another aspect I absolutely hated about this drama and a lot of others is that they always have all the characters make up with each other. Like even if there’s a huge falling out they always have that plot point where years later they come back and everything is all hearts and flowers. I wouldn’t say that’s realistic because sometimes a person really isn’t for you / meant to be in your life. Sometimes the friendship/relationship was toxic and you know that you’re better off without having them in your life, meeting up to discuss what went wrong, or even making amends. Usually it’s better to just let things be and move on. Live and let live as they say but idk maybe Mi Gyeong and Su Yeong are just super mature to see past their differences… though I doubt it because she legit had to remind Su Yeong how much she resented her in the past but at the same time she missed her ? Make it make sense.

The truth is, some people are just happy knowing you’re not as happy as they are in life — it brings them peace knowing they won and you lost. And I feel like that’s truly how Mi Gyeong sees Su Yeong… she looks at her life as small and inconsequential in comparison… saying it “suits her” Like bffr Su Yeong owns a drawing cafe while she’s a big manager in HQ. Su Yeong gave up her job and her life in Seoul because she knew she wasn’t and would never be accepted. I kind of wish she spent the last four years in college getting a degree so she’d feel better about herself and able to face the world and people with more confidence. Sigh. I also didn’t like the fact that Sang Su never rlly tried to move on from Su Yeong in those four years. I guess he decided a long time ago that she was the one for him and made her occupy all the space in his heart and mind. It’s kinda sad… I know Su Yeong would’ve wanted him to be happy regardless.


Final Thoughts:

If I could sum up this drama into a few words it would be “will they or won’t they?” ahhh if you don’t like slow burns, slice of life dramas or melodramas then do not watch this. Trust me it’s super slow and it’s more pining / longing than the leads actually getting their happy ending until the very last episode. I have to say though their chemistry is really good and you can feel the angst / tension through the screen.

Don’t watch this drama if you are going to view it from a one dimensional lens and blame the characters for being flawed as adults. People mature at different stages and as it turns out some people have to fall down and make mistakes in order to learn and grow from them. Nobody is perfect is what I’m saying and these characters all have their shortcomings, baggage, trauma and scars.

If you’re not willing to see them as actual human beings with issues and trauma to deal with / faults to overcome then again I reiterate do not watch it.

If however you want to stick around for these two love struck idiots who actually deserve a real chance at happiness and a shot at a real relationship together then do continue / start watching. It’s a rollercoaster ride (an unreasonably slow paced one lol!) so you're definitely going to go through the emotions and really feel for them (especially if you are emotional / have a big heart / empathize with others) If you’re looking for a drama that is more insta lovey and doesn’t have much plot / story building then I suggest you go watch something else.

Overall I gave this drama an 8/10 (initially it was a 7.5 however, I figured disliking the ending alone isn’t fair) My rating is primarily because still find myself thinking of these two and their tumultuous story. I can’t ever let them go / forget and I think that’s the point. They were the definition of “right person wrong time” and I just ate it up. This drama was enjoyable for me and I don’t regret watching at all. I think more people would’ve given this drama a higher rating but the open / bittersweet ending made them take off some points, so to each their own.

Long story short, this drama really stuck with me and I stuck with it because it’s a realistic portrayal of people living their daily lives, experiencing love, kindness, jealousy, heartbreak and everything else in between. It highlights the fact that that love is hard work. It’s not perfect, it’s not a fairytale and not everyone gets a happy ending. It’s solely based on people’s efforts and how much they are willing to compromise for someone else. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges and choosing / fighting to be together. It’s putting another person before yourself (no questions asked) and rooting for their ultimate happiness. It’s choosing to let them go even if it hurts, even if they are happy without you because if you love them you will respect them, their choices, and ultimately want the best for them.

I would recommend this drama to persons who like slow burns, second chance love and slice of life dramas. Honestly, I really liked it — I mean the first episode really drew me in because I was so shocked and had to know what happens next. Obviously this show isn’t for everyone but if it’s for you / worth watching then you should know by episode 3 or 4. Also I'm not sure if speed watching helped me enjoy it more bc I watched this drama on x1.5-x1.75. I find that the pacing in these types of dramas are unnecessarily slow and that tends to make it seem like it just drags on forever. So maybe you could try speeding it up if you're having a hard time getting into it.

I also really enjoyed the OST. It has the perfect balance of fun / flirty upbeat songs mixed with sad and emotional / heartfelt ones. I still listen to it from time to time.

Would I rewatch it? Yes because I am a sucker for slow burns, I loved their moments / interactions and even though the ending is sad / bittersweet… it’s their story. It’s a little messy but it seemed real and I felt like I was with them the whole time — watching, waiting and rooting for them to make it along their individual journeys + also finally coming together, to find peace at the end of it all.

There’s this quote that says “The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.” And I feel like it perfectly captures Sang Su and Su Yeong. Even though though their journey came to an end, I believe that the open ending still offered a great deal of hope for them to eventually let go of the past, move forward, and create a new “future happiness” one filled with better memories and without regret.

All in all, I think that the drama did a fantastic job of portraying the ups and downs of love. Sang Su and Su Yeong are not perfect (so far from it actually) but they’re special in their own little way. In my eyes some people are meant to be, just not made to last.

This drama is not for everyone but what I will say is:
THE PEOPLE WHO GET IT GET IT!!!

Anyway, that’s my two cents <3

(Sending love to everyone who stayed and read all this ily!)


Happy watching!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Leia Mais

This is not a romance. This is a missed opportunity of romance.

This drama is not the love story of people who have feelings for each other, love each other and end up living happily ever after. This is a drama about what people can do to people who love them when they do not return their love feelings. So, the characters are most of the time cowardly, manipulative, pathetic, annoying and gesticulating in wrong situations. This happens in real life too as not all relationships are based on true and sincere love. This is what this drama is about. It has a realistic take on adults’ relationships. Adults who do not know their own feelings, ignore them, tone them down or pretend to have feelings… and make choices with their reason that their heart does not agree with.

1/ WHAT I LIKED:

- The story and the trajectory of the 5 main characters. None of them is perfect. They all have qualities and flaws that determine their choices. They are all relatable because they all look like human beings led into wrong choices by their human condition and trying to deal with their wrong choices and not the best way.
- The mature take on sex and love. It is not so common in romance kdramas. This drama is not shy about sex, and it tells that there is a difference between love and sex. Just like in real life.
- The cheating: 30% of women and 40% of men have cheated once in their life. No need to throw an anathema to them and pretend to be so much better. People have their own reasons for doing what they do. I did not want to judge them. I just agreed that in their situation, the cheating would happen, and it did happen like in real life. It was steamy and intense. People who can’t stomach cheating as a human emotional state and possible behavior should stay away from this drama.
- The rather realistic depiction of the workplace and colleagues. The friendly ones and the annoying ones who are always gossiping.
- The ending. There are two endings. One with ep15 with a sad unhappy ending but more consistent and logical with what happened during the whole drama. I have not read the novel but I felt like the ending with ep16 was especially cooked to give everyone a great situation like everything was bad that ends well. The two leads have an open ending with this ep but personally, I prefer the ending with ep15.

2/ WHAT I DID NOT LIKE:

- The early episodes were confusing and exhausting with the ML and FL acting unclear towards each other.
- Some draggy parts with too much gloomy faces and long contemplating moments
- The story between the ML and his mom could have been better. The mom looked a strong character, but she was quite underused for me.

3/ CHARACTERS/ACTORS:

- ML: The only one with real unconditional Love feelings. But he lacked courage and that drowned his chance. He grew into a more assured person and took responsibility of his feelings and his no-feelings in the end. Not very fond of the actor but he did a decent job looking gloomy and contrite and unable to bury his one-sided Love.
- FL: Self centered complicated person with sad circumstances and low self-esteem but she used them as an excuse to not face her own feelings and act upon them. This led her to make a wrong choice that she will try to assume despite obvious signs it is wrong. I liked Moon Ga young in this role. Different from what I used to see from her.
- SML: Student from a poor family who wanted to woo noona but when she chose him out of frustration for his kindness and for comfort, he suddenly had nothing more to offer her and became lousy and bland.
- SFL : Manipulative, possessive, scheming to always have gains from others. But I liked her bright, smart, and outgoing character. She was immature regarding Love and failed to be lovable and to love her partner. But she did not take it too badly. Of course, the ML was just a challenge and a trophy partner for her. Loved the actress who displayed lots of emotions.
- TML: Kyung Pil. This snake was a bad boyfriend, a bad friend and a bad person whispering bad ideas into the ears of the ML, SFL and FL based on his own sorry past that he chose himself. A dislikeable and pitiful person who slightly improved. The actor was great looking cunning, bitter, disillusioned and not proud of himself.

3/ OST:
Very good. I liked most of the songs and listened to them apart from the drama.

4/ REWATCHABLE VALUE:
It is slow paced and the story is realistic but sad, so I won’t rewatch it.

5/ OVERALL:

It’s a good drama if you can accept that humans are weak and make wrong choices and do wrong things that do not improve their situation on the contrary. Because they lack courage and confidence in themselves, their choice of reason is undermined by their heart’s choice, and it leads to messy situations. In the end, they still manage to put things in the right order and move on to a happier life after a time jump. Despite the contemplative and slow parts, I enjoyed watching these people I had pity and hopes for. Not so entertaining but a slice of life drama I enjoyed. 8/10.

Lesson of the drama: "If you have feelings for someone, take the courage to face your feelings honestly and act upon them. "

Leia Mais