Understanding Love (2022)

LOVE ISN’T BLACK AND WHITE, NEITHER IS LIFE!

***DISCLAIMER: This is just my opinion after watching the drama in it's entirety. I will try to remain unbiased and give an honest review. We don’t have to agree and I’m not here to argue with anyone.***

This show should really be called “The Price / Cost of Love” , “Understanding Love” , “Walking With You” , “The Time of Us” or “Sandcastle” (iykyk❤️)

I enjoyed this drama so much. Contrary to popular belief that this show is “ trash” blah blah blah (insert other bad comments / non-constructive criticism) I feel like it was realistic and people can take various life lessons from it. The biggest lesson that was emphasized was for people to stop sitting around wondering “what if” and instead seize the day, go after what you want / who you want because it might turn into a missed opportunity and you will have to live with regret. The second was don’t make rash decisions in the spur of the moment or lie because you’re afraid of confronting and dealing with your feelings. And lastly, stop running away from your problems because they will eventually catch up to you.

Imo this drama was refreshing considering I’d only ever known Moon Ga Young in juvenile roles. It was nice to see her portray an adult and go through “grown up” issues. I feel like I can finally relate and empathize with her character now.

General Overview:

Su Yeong is a young woman with a dismissive avoidant attachment style who struggles with depression, scars from the past, grief from her brother's death and a broken relationship with her family. She first meets Sang Su when he comes to the bank and she’s his senior who has to train him and help him learn all the tricks to being a bank clerk. They got closer and she really was there for him. Fast forward 3 years later he has been getting promoted while she has remained in the same position. Su Yeong feels as though her life is stagnant and she won’t move forward in her career compared to her peers because they all have college degrees whereas she does not. She develops a bit of a complex because of this and realizes no matter how hard she works or tries she’ll never get promoted. She realizes her place in society as she is from a poor background and has no degree. Everyone looks down on her and makes up rumors about her even though they don’t have a clue about who she is. Sang Su seemingly has a crush on Su Yeong and at the beginning of the drama he attempts to pursue her. They go on one date and agree to go on another however when Sang Su was on his way to meet Su Yeong he hesitates. She can see him from the restaurant… notices his hesitation in coming to see her and she feels horrible. She immediately leaves and essentially shuts him out of her life.

As the story goes along you kind of understand why Su Yeong ignores him and pushes him away. For the first time in her life she was willing to let someone in and truly be happy but in the end she realizes they would’ve never worked out because of their places in society. She ultimately decides it’s better for her to go on without him and pretends to date Jong Hyeon instead at first to get rid of Sang Su and quell her feelings for him but along the way you can see her tenderness for Jong Hyeon as she feels sorry for his unfortunate circumstances and invites him to live with her instead of quitting his job as a security guard and moving away. Enter Mi Gyeong — a college friend of Sang Su who is clearly into him and will do anything to get him wrapped around her little finger. She eventually senses that there is something between Sang Su and Su Yeong and goes out of her way to befriend Su Yeong by giving her gifts, taking her to dinner and finding out what she likes / dislikes. Anything to keep Su Yeong at bay and also guilt trip her into backing off from Sang Su for the sake of friendship. If keep your friends close and your enemies closer was a person, that would be Mi Gyeong. Nevertheless, her plan doesn’t work out because as it is Su Yeong and Sang Su are incapable of staying away from each other.

There’s a lot of unnecessary drama in between of them fighting feelings for one another, entering relationships they had no business being in because they were still hung up on each other / pining for each other unintentionally. There was literally no need for them to bring other characters into their business/drama. I hated Mi Gyeong, Gyeong Pil, and Jong Hyeon just a little bit more than usual because even when they found out the truth they tried so hard to make Sang Su and Su Yeong’s life more unbearable. That to me proved that their desires were more important than what the people they claimed to “love” needed. If that’s not selfish idk what is. People can call Sang Su and Su Yeong selfish for wanting to break up with them but they were selfish in different ways. Like be so frl, I got sick of them acting like they got the short end of the stick and were done the worst injustice by Sang Su and Su Yeong breaking up with them. Like sometimes people have to make tough decisions for themselves even if it hurts someone else’s feelings. I feel like Su Yeong and Sang Su both always spent their lives putting others before themselves and the one time – THE ONE TIME, they wanted to choose themselves (be selfish) and go after love / the person they truly wanted to be with it was such a huge problem. At least they weren’t trying to stay with their partners and cheat behind their backs. That would’ve been so much worse / messy. The worst part is that they both tried so hard to spare Mi Gyeong and Jong Hyeon feelings but ended up doing the opposite and hurting themselves in the process. They even admitted their faults and apologized multiple times but somehow it was never enough… especially for Mi Gyeong.

Lmao don’t let me get started on her. I just hate how she pretends to be a “nice girl” when she is in fact very self-centered and mean. She befriended Su Yeong because she sensed that there was something going on between her and Sang Su and she thought that if she was nice to her and kept on buying her things she’d feel guilty and back off. It was so disgusting to me the way she’d worm around situations and try to have everyone bend to her will. She wanted to be so different from her father but eventually she realized she was just like him and then defended him by saying "that’s probably how he shows love"??? That was bullsh*t. Not her condoning her father's actions in order to justify hers, then perpetuating her continuous desire to control everyone and everything by trying to buy their favor.

In my humble opinion, Sang Su and Su Yeong’s moments were precious… anytime they talked — really talked and listened to each other on long walks, drank (playing the “truth” / “lying” game), or hung out by the seaside — it was really beautiful. I felt their emotions pull on my heartstrings and bring me to the point of tears several times. For me, it was like “How can two people be so right for each other yet not stand a singular chance of being together?” They had mutual understanding, comfort, and peace whenever they were with each other. The harsh reality is that both were stupid and allowed society and other people's opinions of them ruin what they had. People told them they shouldn’t and couldn’t be together and they believed them instead of believing in their relationship and what they had.

Her leaving Sang Su the last time — I’m sure he saw it coming. She always runs away except this time he decided not to chase after her because he felt like that’s what she wanted, he respected her choice and decided to give her space. Even after four years passed, Sang Su always kept Su Yeong close to his heart. While I’m sure he respected her decision he just couldn’t understand it. I’m guessing Su Yeong just wanted to disappear and have a fresh start but I’m sure a part of her also wanted Sang Su to chase after her or convince her to stay. It’s so messed up when someone feels like a burden and that they’re to blame for all the misfortunes that happen to them in their life. It’s like they feel like they deserve it but ultimately they also think they deserve nothing at all. This is why I can understand Su Yeong distancing herself from everyone and not believing she deserved love or even happiness.

One thing I disliked about this drama was the miscommunication trope. Don’t get me wrong it’s okay when it’s done right but there were a lot of moments you know could’ve been fixed with a simple conversation. Sang Su would’ve listened to her and appreciated the truth. There was so much sneaking around and lying for no reason. Like I can try and understand/empathize with Su Yeong’s reasons… she rather destroy everyone/everything and burn it all to the ground + run away rather than face and conquer her greatest fears. She is distant, cold unfeeling, and avoidant but that legit doesn’t excuse her always wanting to run away / disappear. Sang Su on the other hand never speaks his mind and prefers to suffer in silence / take on the weight of other people's problems. Yes, I get that he’s protective and always wants to save the day but lol some girls (ie. Su Yeong) don’t want to be saved. They just want to be understood and seen/heard for once in their life. Yeah, it sucks but that’s pretty much what I got from their dynamic. In the end, it worked because they really balanced each other out.

Another aspect I absolutely hated about this drama and a lot of others is that they always have all the characters make up with each other. Like even if there’s a huge falling out they always have that plot point where years later they come back and everything is all hearts and flowers. I wouldn’t say that’s realistic because sometimes a person really isn’t for you / meant to be in your life. Sometimes the friendship/relationship was toxic and you know that you’re better off without having them in your life, meeting up to discuss what went wrong, or even making amends. Usually it’s better to just let things be and move on. Live and let live as they say but idk maybe Mi Gyeong and Su Yeong are just super mature to see past their differences… though I doubt it because she legit had to remind Su Yeong how much she resented her in the past but at the same time she missed her ? Make it make sense.

The truth is, some people are just happy knowing you’re not as happy as they are in life — it brings them peace knowing they won and you lost. And I feel like that’s truly how Mi Gyeong sees Su Yeong… she looks at her life as small and inconsequential in comparison… saying it “suits her” Like bffr Su Yeong owns a drawing cafe while she’s a big manager in HQ. Su Yeong gave up her job and her life in Seoul because she knew she wasn’t and would never be accepted. I kind of wish she spent the last four years in college getting a degree so she’d feel better about herself and able to face the world and people with more confidence. Sigh. I also didn’t like the fact that Sang Su never rlly tried to move on from Su Yeong in those four years. I guess he decided a long time ago that she was the one for him and made her occupy all the space in his heart and mind. It’s kinda sad… I know Su Yeong would’ve wanted him to be happy regardless.


Final Thoughts:

If I could sum up this drama into a few words it would be “will they or won’t they?” ahhh if you don’t like slow burns, slice of life dramas or melodramas then do not watch this. Trust me it’s super slow and it’s more pining / longing than the leads actually getting their happy ending until the very last episode. I have to say though their chemistry is really good and you can feel the angst / tension through the screen.

Don’t watch this drama if you are going to view it from a one dimensional lens and blame the characters for being flawed as adults. People mature at different stages and as it turns out some people have to fall down and make mistakes in order to learn and grow from them. Nobody is perfect is what I’m saying and these characters all have their shortcomings, baggage, trauma and scars.

If you’re not willing to see them as actual human beings with issues and trauma to deal with / faults to overcome then again I reiterate do not watch it.

If however you want to stick around for these two love struck idiots who actually deserve a real chance at happiness and a shot at a real relationship together then do continue / start watching. It’s a rollercoaster ride (an unreasonably slow paced one lol!) so you're definitely going to go through the emotions and really feel for them (especially if you are emotional / have a big heart / empathize with others) If you’re looking for a drama that is more insta lovey and doesn’t have much plot / story building then I suggest you go watch something else.

Overall I gave this drama an 8/10 (initially it was a 7.5 however, I figured disliking the ending alone isn’t fair) My rating is primarily because still find myself thinking of these two and their tumultuous story. I can’t ever let them go / forget and I think that’s the point. They were the definition of “right person wrong time” and I just ate it up. This drama was enjoyable for me and I don’t regret watching at all. I think more people would’ve given this drama a higher rating but the open / bittersweet ending made them take off some points, so to each their own.

Long story short, this drama really stuck with me and I stuck with it because it’s a realistic portrayal of people living their daily lives, experiencing love, kindness, jealousy, heartbreak and everything else in between. It highlights the fact that that love is hard work. It’s not perfect, it’s not a fairytale and not everyone gets a happy ending. It’s solely based on people’s efforts and how much they are willing to compromise for someone else. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges and choosing / fighting to be together. It’s putting another person before yourself (no questions asked) and rooting for their ultimate happiness. It’s choosing to let them go even if it hurts, even if they are happy without you because if you love them you will respect them, their choices, and ultimately want the best for them.

I would recommend this drama to persons who like slow burns, second chance love and slice of life dramas. Honestly, I really liked it — I mean the first episode really drew me in because I was so shocked and had to know what happens next. Obviously this show isn’t for everyone but if it’s for you / worth watching then you should know by episode 3 or 4. Also I'm not sure if speed watching helped me enjoy it more bc I watched this drama on x1.5-x1.75. I find that the pacing in these types of dramas are unnecessarily slow and that tends to make it seem like it just drags on forever. So maybe you could try speeding it up if you're having a hard time getting into it.

I also really enjoyed the OST. It has the perfect balance of fun / flirty upbeat songs mixed with sad and emotional / heartfelt ones. I still listen to it from time to time.

Would I rewatch it? Yes because I am a sucker for slow burns, I loved their moments / interactions and even though the ending is sad / bittersweet… it’s their story. It’s a little messy but it seemed real and I felt like I was with them the whole time — watching, waiting and rooting for them to make it along their individual journeys + also finally coming together, to find peace at the end of it all.

There’s this quote that says “The beautiful journey of today can only begin when we learn to let go of yesterday.” And I feel like it perfectly captures Sang Su and Su Yeong. Even though though their journey came to an end, I believe that the open ending still offered a great deal of hope for them to eventually let go of the past, move forward, and create a new “future happiness” one filled with better memories and without regret.

All in all, I think that the drama did a fantastic job of portraying the ups and downs of love. Sang Su and Su Yeong are not perfect (so far from it actually) but they’re special in their own little way. In my eyes some people are meant to be, just not made to last.

This drama is not for everyone but what I will say is:
THE PEOPLE WHO GET IT GET IT!!!

Anyway, that’s my two cents <3

(Sending love to everyone who stayed and read all this ily!)


Happy watching!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Leia Mais

You are the sum of all your experiences, learn from it and be a better person.

The ultimate question: Did they live happily ever after, as a couple? Or, did they live happily ever after, as friends?

Answer: it can go either way, 50-50.

Here's why.

As I mentioned in the previous weeks, this show is a story about love, relationships, break-ups, forgiveness, and moving on. This is not a fantasy romance where we would feel we are in heaven, and dream of Mr. Right and Ms. Perfect. No, none of that.

My first romantic relationship lasted for three (3) years. She was my first, and I was her first. We broke up, we talked, we closed things properly. But, guess what? We both failed to moved on.

In our case, she got married a few years later. It took us 11 more years to have a real closure. We failed to move on because we were not honest with ourselves, and we did not learn to forgive ourselves.

Before we can truly move on, we need to forgive the other party. But, we can not forgive other people if we do not forgive our own self first. To be able to forgive our own self, we need to face the reality and embrace it.

Yes, it is a process. It can take years, or it can take as short as a minute. It does not matter if you understand the process, there are people who can truly move on fast without being aware of the process.

Personally, I have proven that process to myself, when in late 2020, my 15-year relationship ended. When I learned to face reality, when I learned to embrace it. It was only then I was able to forgive myself.

It felt good. The heavy burden in my mind, and on my shoulders, were lifted. I was able to finally breathe. Then, I was able to forgive and thank her, even though I was only talking to the air.

It took me three (3) months, and I also had to put a deadline for myself. What do I mean? I told myself, “after this date, all is over, period”. After that date passed, I moved on. I started to smile.

Once we have truly moved on, that is only the time that healing begins. There is no healing if you can not smile. There is no healing if you can stomach hearing your ex's (or enemy's) name. You are not healing at all if you are still reacting emotionally when you see that other person's shadows, or hear them breath.

All these things are what “The Interest of Love” was telling us.

We all know that love and relationships are complicated, but do we truly understand it?

The 1FL was mostly pessimistic in the entire show. Rightly so, because there are people who are pessimistic. They do exist, and if you have not met at least one pessimistic person, you have not truly lived. The 1FL represents people who are pessimistic.

While the 1ML is a type of person who have a positive outlook in life, who was later crashed because of love. He was that type of person you have probably met once who never had time about love and relationships. But, when their heart was stolen by someone, they had no idea how to act and handle things.

Our pessimist 1FL eventually grew and started to have a positive outlook in life. All because of the 1ML.

At the same time, our 1ML, who had no idea about love and relationships, learned to listen and understand other people. All because of the 1FL.

Are you seeing how these two characters are helping each other grow? That is love and relationship. In episode 16, they even asked, “Were we really in love?” Because their relationship as two individuals was closer than they care to admit.

Let's take a detour.

There is also an important contrast between the 1ML and the 2ML. The 2ML acted badly when he heard the news that the 1FL slept with another man (note: there was no concrete proof if she did or not). The last word he told the 1FL was, “b**ch”.

However, what struck me was the 2ML also grew. Instead of sulking, or trying to find the 1FL and, maybe, force her back into a relationship after apologising, he decided to just call it.

Like what I mentioned earlier, the 2ML faced his reality and embraced it. He was not able to ask for forgiveness in person, but he knew he was forgiven because he learned to forgive himself.

He turned his bad experiences as a source of strength. He focused on his studies, and eventually achieved his dream to become a police officer.

Meanwhile, the 1ML was not giving up. He tried to find the 1FL, and he did, only to lose her again. And for the next four years, he tried to survive, hoping to see her one more time. (We are assuming he chose the branch himself.)

Another detour. The 2FL! Let's not forget her.

What type of character was she? She is that person who will do anything to get what they want. Not necessarily rich and wealthy people, mind you, there are ordinary people who get what they want just because. The 2FL represents those type of persons.

However, when it comes to love and relationships, it's either shallow or one-sided. First, she accepted the fact that the 1ML has eyes for the 1FL, but when he needed a shoulder to cry on, she freely offered herself. This is what we call “rebound relationship”.

For the 2FL, as long as she gets what she wanted, it is fine for her to be the rebound. The bad effect of this is that, the other person (the 1ML in this case) will never be fully into that relationship. They are either still thinking of the other person (the 1FL in this case), or they are only using the rebound relationship to heal (and once they healed, they will more likely leave).

The 1ML, who was growing because of the 1FL, realised this and broke up with her. Three years later, the 2FL returned to Korea, healed. In episode 16, she mentioned that she is fine talking about the 1ML because she (truly) moved on.

They even showed a scene how the 2FL saw the 1ML during the wedding, and it did not bother her. Was it because she found a new boyfriend? No, it wasn't about faithfulness and loyalty to her new boyfriend. In the first place, if she has not truly moved on, she would not be able to have a new boyfriend, that is not her character. Not to mention, she would not show up in the wedding knowing that they may cross paths.

The 2FL grew and learned what it means to love and have a relationship. Not just a romantic relationship, but also a relationship with her father.

Which brings us back to the 1FL and her relationship with her father. Like the 2FL, the 1FL also have a strained relationship with her father, although different, they are both not close to them.

See the contrast and 'relationships'?

And now, we are in episode 16. We have gone full circle when the 1ML and the 1FL started to talk about their “what-ifs”. This is a different kind of “what-ifs”.

Usually, “what-ifs” are regrets. However, in the case of the 1ML and 1FL, it was an intellectual discourse. Would things between them have ended up differently… if…?

There were no regrets when they looked back at their memories. Why? How? Simple. They learned to face and embrace their reality, and have forgiven themselves, and each other.

They moved on from the pain they caused each other. And they used those experiences to grow for the next four years of their lives.

Thus, when they met again, they were simply two ___healed___ individuals reminiscing their time together.

Think of it this way, tabula rasa. Clean slate.

They can choose to become a couple. Or, they can decide to remain as “special” friends.

I personally know married couples who broke up and later met again 4+ years later. They rekindled their love and relationship.

I, myself, went through the latter. Remember the first relationship I shared earlier, which took 11 years before we finally were able to moved on? Whenever our paths cross, after the true closure, there are no more lingering emotions and feelings between us. We can talk about the past normally, as in, just the past.

Some would probably say, “well, she's married and have children”. Sure, that's valid. However, even if she is still single, that part of our lives is long gone. We have reached the point wherein we will never cross our unwritten and undiscussed boundaries. We are just nothing but “special” friends.

I can see it in her eyes, and I am sure she can see it in my eyes, too. The past is the past. It's over between us, permanently. There is nothing to rekindle. We can reminisce, but that's it, nothing to rekindle. Our love for each other changed to something akin to brother and sister.

This is why the ending of “The Interest of Love” was like that.

Here are two individuals, whose lives were entwined when they were younger and innocent. Four years later, having learned from their experiences, and have forgiven themselves in the process, their paths crossed again.

They are representing two types of “couples”.

The first is: those couples who rekindled their love and gotten married later.

The second is: those couples, like me and my first, who will never have a romantic relationship ever again, but remain good friends.

It is up to the audience to decide which path the 1ML and the 2FL will choose. They can remain as friends, having grown and learned from each other. Or, they can rekindle their love and see where it goes this time around.

After all, they did ask and realised, “were we in love then?”

These are what the 1ML, 1FL, 2FL, and the 2ML, all learned in their lives:
You are the sum of your experiences. Learn from it and become a better person. Never harbour hatred and bitterness, rather, listen and understand each other.

All of our relationships are important. Be it romantic, as friends, or with our families. In these personal relationships, let love encompassed it all.

Leia Mais