Gamera vs. Guiron (1969)

Kaiju sushi anyone?

Gamera vs Guiron was my first Gamera movie. I watched it several years ago before knowing anything about this franchise. Two boys accidentally go into space in a strange ship and a giant turtle with flames coming out his backend comes to their rescue on the 10th planet hiding behind the sun? Yeah, I'm the person who will sit down and watch that.

The two mischievous boys witness a spaceship landing and board it without any forethought. It closes up and heads for home via an asteroid belt. Fortunately, Gamera hears the boys and protects them. The spaceship flies faster than he does so the boys end up on a strange planet where the water runs backwards and giant kaiju inhabit the place before Gamera can get there. They are greeted by two space women who look a lot like an early Frieza from Dragon Balls. If you are not a 10-year-old boy, the middle of this movie can get tedious, even with silver clad cannibal space babes.

Fifty minutes into the story, Gamera finally shows up and duels with a giant land shark with a huge blade coming out of his head. Guiron also has some nifty throwing stars that shoot from his body. The first fight doesn't go well for the big turtle but the first one never does. When Gamera collects himself and starts the fight over we are witness to him doing a gymnastic bar routine with a perfect 10 dismount. In only his 6th outing, it felt like Gamera had jumped the blade faced shark.

Gamera was fully a friend to children by this time. The boys weren't too annoying but I could have used less time on them and the space women overall. The mothers were belligerently obstinate in disbelieving the little sister who had witnessed the boys getting on the spaceship. One mother was wanting to give her son 30 lashes for running away. Eventually, some grown-ups appeared to let them know the child wasn't lying. These two women were the most exasperating part of the whole movie.

By the time Gamera was shooting across space, heading home with the boys in tow, his theme song blaring you know everyone has learned their lesson. The mothers understood they should trust their children. The boys decided it was better to make Earth a safer place to live than looking to somewhere in space. And Gamera, well, Gamera was probably looking for a place to refuel after traveling across the Solar System and back. Let's go Gamera!

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