The Intimate Lover (2005)

I never realized how given to fairy tales many Hollywood films were until I started watching Asian cinema.

Films from this region can be so painfully true to life, not prone to sugarcoat or providing even the narrowest of escape from the unpredictability and cruelty of human existence. There's no compromise. I don't know what to make of it. I both love it and hate it.

The Intimate Lover poignantly unveils our contrary nature as human beings. When it comes to matters of the heart, we want security and stability, but also a constant supply of that heady rush of new love, of being in love and seeing the stars in our lover's eyes. But it's impossible to attain both at the same time, with the same partner for the long haul.

So where does that leave us? Pretty much between a rock and hard a place.

To not chase that high is to commit yourself to a life of probable unfulfillment and what ifs, and to chase it would be like chasing a rainbow. You'll be going around in circles. If you leave one partner for another just to experience the high of being in love, eventually you'll end up back where you started with the same irrational need to begin the process all over again.

So really that sweet, intoxicating love we all want to experience can only last for a lifetime in our memories; and what this film imparts on us is that it's better to experience that love and end it while you're still on a high rather than let it wane from the onset of familiarity. It is the memory of this intoxicating love that will cradle us as we're delivered into the bosom of death.

It's a powerful message, if a little depressing.

All in all, though, this was a good exploration of the human condition. I think the actors did a good job, especially the female lead. I was happy to see some good physicality between the characters. None of this brushing of the lips nonsense or people who are supposed to be intimate acting like strangers around each other.

I've seen where this film has been described as "erotic". Perhaps by Asian standards, but this was just an average film to me. Explicit, yes, but erotic, not really. Because of the subject matter the film attempts to analyze they HAD to show that level of intimacy between the characters. To not do so would have been unrealistic. When you meet someone and you fall in love with them, you want to be intimate with them. Film, being a visual medium, has to show that intimacy to strengthen the story being told, otherwise the movie would have defeated its own purpose.

I must admit even though I had an idea where the movie was headed, and was okay with it, I held a small hope for a different ending. What can I say? I am a romantic. I know how life works. I know we're powerless to its whims. But I don't need to be reminded of that constantly in my entertainment. Be that as it may, however, I'm glad no one had a terminal illness. No one got hit by a truck. No one died or was dying. Thank goodness.

The ending was appropriate, poignant, but not gut wrenching. If you're in the mood for a film that will make you think and or spur an intellectual conversation afterwards, this is a good choice.

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