The way I expected a silly and fun rom-com with a bickering “friends to lovers” couple… The way I got existential crisis and free therapy instead.

Objectively it’s a good drama, subjectively it’s an amazing drama. Undoubtedly it will hit you hard if you share the experiences of the main characters - you will pick up on subtle things, connect seemingly small and not quite related moments of their lives, analyze their behavior and connect to them on an embarrassing level. This happened to me. But I also had enough discussions with people to know where I found meaning, they saw nothing. Scenes that made me write essay long posts were just plot points for others.

For me, this show is a slice of life first, rom-com second. It shows the effects neglectful upbringing and parentification can have on a child and I think that’s something everyone who starts watching should understand. There are a lot of scenes where main leads do not interact. We get a well developed view of the parents’ relationships, neighborhood friendships and even some worklife. This could get boring if what you are looking for is a romantic comedy.

The center of the drama were complex family dynamics. Growing up neglected, growing up with internal and external pressure to succeed. Questions like - how to rebuild a relationship that never really started, how to have conversations with your child, understanding that just because you have good intentions and doing something "for their own good" might actually be the poison that slowly kills them. It was as much of a family drama as it was a romance.

What I loved about Love Next Door is how realistic the characters seemed and how all of them had real flaws that truly negatively affected their lives and relationships. Flaws you can relate to. Seok Ryu being an independent and ambitious woman was not all good. You can be too ambitious and too independent. Seung Hyo was quite egocentric in how he viewed other people’s issues - it was all about how it made him feel, and not how other people felt. I did see a lot of flaws Seok Ryu has in myself, hence with the biased point of you, it was easier for me to understand her and explain her behavior. On the other hand, there were moments I was on the verge of hating Seung Hyo for his behavior, and was saved by great discussions with people who were more accustomed to his point of view. I honestly feel like I had my own character development when I was watching the drama.

I loved how they were spitting facts about many social issues - shading even the leads. I think that's something I especially enjoyed. The leads were not there just to deliver the message, sometimes they were the ones who learn the lessons after they've been called out. Talks about privilege, biased perspective, fears, setbacks, family issues. It's not like one person is right and the other is wrong - both are correct and incorrect at the same time and the trick is to combine all the perspectives to get a whole picture. No one is just privileged or underprivileged, because it depends on what and how you measure and what is important to you.

In the earlier episodes there was quite a lot of talk about the workplace environment, jobs, careers, passions. Victims of workplace abuse viewing their own behavior as the issue, contradicting goals based on preferred outcomes and priorities (idealism vs realism), living to work vs working to live, working long hours because you enjoy what you do vs doing overwork because you feel pressured to do that.

What’s more? There were no villains and assholes - all characters and all relationships were complex and well developed. The more you watched, the more you understood each point of view. Sometimes no one is wrong, you are just different people, you just don’t match, the timing is wrong, life is too hard. Sometimes you cannot meet the expectations and only later you see how they were impossible to meet in the first place.

The variety of relationships? Perfection. Different parenting styles even towards your own children, friendships between older women, fathers, neighbors, childhood friendships, new formed friendships in adulthood - all different in flavor, all entertaining to watch.

Women supporting each other in subtle ways. Honestly, the friendship between the mothers was AMAZING. They were all different, from different economic and professional backgrounds, but you could see how much they care for each other. Even if they were fighting, when one needed help, the others did not even hesitate.

Some of my favorite relationships include: the awkward friendship between Seung Hyo and Dan Ho, heartwarming bond between Seok Ryu and her dad, Geun Sik and Gyeong Jong and their drinking therapy, Hye Suk and Gyeong Jong - the romance I would never expect to love so much, Dan Ho and the most adorable child Yeon Du.

Surprisingly I was extremely invested in all love lines - even for the parents. There were moments in the show when I was actually the most interested in their story and development. For me that’s a clear sign they were not written to just be the background fillers for the main leads.

Love Next Door was the drama that at times made me feel like a judgemental asshole when I formed opinions on the characters even though they barely showed up, just based on my expectations of what’s going to happen, or limited knowledge based on the perspective of other characters. I appreciate that: a drama that makes me question my own behavior.

To the performances - we were blessed. You scroll down that cast list and you know you will get some good acting. My favorite performance actually did not even belong to the main cast. Jo Han Chul and Bae Geun Sik just stole my heart. He was so amazingly expressive and realistic in portraying the character’s struggles and the happiness. I cried when he cried, I laughed when he laughed.

Was it all good? No. Technically speaking it’s a story of both Seung Hyo and Seok Ryu. Practically speaking, she is the main character, and he is there to support her story. It’s a thing that exists in almost all kdramas: the lack of balance in the main couple. Usually one is better developed, faces well constructed conflicts, and has a more detailed story written around them. Here it’s clearly Seok Ryu. It’s her journey and while Seung Hyo takes a large space in it, he is still not as well developed as she is.

What’s more - Bae Dong Jin’s character… wasted opportunity. I wish they spent more time developing his perspective. For most part of the drama he was just annoying and I could not stand him. While by the end I saw his point of view, I wish it was more detailed and hinted at from the start.

Sadly, I am not sure I 100% bought the transition from friends to lovers between Seung Hyo and Seok Ryu. For some reason it felt too jarring. The friends part was amazing, the lovers part was amazing, the transition between the two? Lacking.

Still, what a blast this drama was. Feast for my brain, as I overanalyzed everything. Every time I got scared the drama might start leaning towards the cliches, they surprised me with more realistic portrayal of known tropes. It’s as if they baited me with empty calories, but delivered a healthy and filling meal.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Why do I... Why do I always have to be your pride and joy? Can't I just be your daughter for once, no matter how pathetic or flawed I might be? Why do I have to cover up for your life?"

"Dreams? Do you think dreams can just be had? Only those who have the luxury to search for them can dream. Those who get the chance to rise again after failure can pursue their dreams."

"You're marvelous. You speak beautifully like a poetry. You;re an idealist who loves dreams more than reality. You're always so full of pride. But do you know where all of that comes from? Privilege."