heart wrenching but a little long-winded?

i didn't watch this in one sitting, since my limit is probably 1 and a half hours of attention. i imagine that if i did, the immersion would be greater, though i think i would have gotten slightly frustrated at the pace, though i think that could very much be intentional.

we watch the children grow, over the span of what we can assume is 1-2 years. grow, that is, with no light but the sun, water from the park, and scrap food from the convenience store. shoes become too small, clothes become tattered, and akira becomes a shell of the boy he could have been, whilst taking the role of a parent for three younger children. we become witness to neglect that may be fictional, but whose basis is very real. our minds can't help but to imagine happiness and freedom that their mother is experiencing, all the while the children are suffering for her irresponsibility. i could probably write a 10,000 word essay on my hatred for her and almost all other adults in the children's life, but i don't think that'd be particularly helpful, so i'll refrain.

there's a lot of beauty in this film, mostly thanks to the cinematography and the rawness of the acting, most likely due to the loose script (i highly recommend watching the documentary on the making of this film). akira's rare smile was healing, as was seeing the children finding joy in growing plants in ramen pots, or eating their favourite candy. the setting of the flat feels claustrophobic and suffocating, and the shots outside really are a breath of fresh air. the children's utter joy at just being able to walk outside is extremely bittersweet, when they are greeted with the apathy of the outside world.

the juxtaposition of akira's resignation of the dream that their mother would return, and yuki's hope that her birthday wish of her mother's presence would come true is noteable. experience has withered akira's soul into that of a pessimist, while yuki's naivety has a small flame still burning until her final breaths.

yuki's death was as equally devastating as it was relieving. what was in her future? it seems that she was hardly registered as a living person, what could the world give her, other than indifference? nobody knows that she existed, nor that she died, except from us, the viewer, and the family of 'nobodies'. of course, her not existing on paper did not mean that she did not, but it did mean that only her present did.

i've heard that this is based loosely on a particular case, though i'm sure that, unfortunately, this film will resonate with many who've been abandoned, temporarily or permanently, or children who were forced to grow up too fast, in any manner, especially for those who have had to grow up for the sake of those more vulnerable than them, who have done nothing but sacrifice. i hope for all akiras, kyokos, shigeru and sakis, that an apology and compensation owed to you by the world is given in some way, and that all the 'freedom' given to those who embody the role of the mother in this film is proven to have a heavy cost.

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ok?

the ending is the most surreal moment i've had while watching a kdrama. spoilers ahead but the main couple become...vloggers??? this was such a bizarre choice and it's so random but it's kind of funny so kudos i guess?

the romance was okay, though the dynamic confused me at times. it seemed rather awkwardly push and pull, and the love triangle was so weird. the second female lead wanted to freeze the fl?? i have never been so confused.

i didn't have high hopes when watching this but it was, i believe, my 3rd kdrama and i'm glad i didn't stop here. retrospectively, it's amusing, but i'm honestly surprised that i managed to watch it all back then. my standards must have been low for me to finish this. i feel like i should state, to redeem myself, that i had dropped this multiple times but finished because i hated dropping dramas at the time, it felt wrong.

i can't really fault the acting, the actors worked with what little they had, though the mix of characters used for comedy and characters used for pathos felt like a weird mix.

also, sidenote, though the second lead certainly did unforgiveable things, i don't think her anger at the situation was unreasonable. for her, she had been waiting 20 years. no romantic endeavours. just waiting. and then her bf finally awakens but moves on in practically a week. her anger was misplaced at fl but i can understand where she is coming from.

the cast is rather star-studded and so i think i did expect more, but as i said, they did the best they could with what they had.

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captivating

this drama was incredibly captivating. unfortunately, i accidentally stumbled upon a spoiler that kind of ruined my first viewing experience, at least for the first half of the show, so that was a bummer, but i was still heavily impressed by the intrigue that the drama was able to arouse in the viewer. is it him? oh. no, it's her right? i knew what happened but i was convinced by the show's narrative of pointing the finger at different individuals so much so that i questioned if the spoilers i read were true or if they were just theorising.

i do have to say, sometimes i found myself reading the subtitles but not really following, and found that i'd have to go back. it could be just me, and maybe i'm not used to dramas that have such an intricate storyline, but i think this is something that is avoidable if you pay attention well. it might not have helped that i typically watched this show before i would sleep.

i did enjoy dong shik and jun won's dynamic. not your typical chummy bromance, but their push and pull relationship only made those moments that they found comfort in one another feel more tender.

the ending did feel very slightly anti-climactic. i suppose it felt too neatly wrapped up, or maybe i felt sad that after all that occurred, dong shik and jun won appeared to not be so close. it makes sense that they wouldn't be, seeing age difference and distance, but it still makes me a little sad.

i'd highly recommend a rewatch. in fact, i think the show would be better as a rewatch. it should provide clarity and you may even notice some foreshadowing.

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both heart-warming and heart-wrenching

the character development of sang gu might possibly be one of my favourite things to witness in a kdrama. i went from hate, to pity, to love. i don't think i've been so attached to a character before. i couldn't find myself hating any of the recurring cast, for any of their actions that irritated me briefly were completely justifiable (with the exception of na mu's mother- i understand her concern for her daughter but she was incredibly judgemental and close-minded). na mu's protectiveness of geu ru might be an example. it can appear that she was too judgemental of sang gu, but it makes sense seeing as geu ru is incredibly vulnerable and sang gu's initial plan was to indeed exploit his position as a guardian for financial security, and his occupation did indirectly put geu ru in harm's way.

as for possibly the most important aspect, that being the portrayal of autism, i don't personally have the experience, but my brother sits on the spectrum. i'd say that, as far as i could tell, the traits of geu ru weren't too overstated...it addressed the issue of their pure intentions being perceived as malicious (eg. ep 1 where he follows the nurse to ask where she got the badge) and how many undermine or maybe even overestimate their intelligence, as well as difficulties accepting change, grief etc. as an autistic person. i really hope that more kdramas will give proper representation to autistic people that doesn't necessarily dominate the plot, but is just a feature of the protagonist.

the exploration of things that couldn't be said in words but could be shown in belongings is so intriguing and heartbreaking...i mean, i didn't expect to burst into tears when seeing shoe boxes or punching gloves, but here we are; however, not only are unwritten messages of love to the bereft sent by move to heaven, but so is justice (e.g. episodes 3-4). i did find the abusive boyfriend's acting to be a little bit too stereotypically villainous, like cackling when he was caught etc. though i understand that it was meant to demonstrate his ability to play the victim and switch.

if i absolutely had to make a criticism, i suppose that it would be the very end of the last episode, in which geu ru appears to be enchanted by a girl. there might not be any romantic connection, but the ambiguity of the scene mildly irked me. is she terminally ill? or is she planning to bring an end to her own life? what did the white butterfly symbolise? life? purity? surely, the connotations contrast what she is saying, unless her transition to heaven is symbolised in the butterfly. maybe this is a set-up for season 2 (?) if i was being optimistic.

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amazing portrayal of 'unconventional' love

unlike most lgbtq+ films, 'happy together' doesn't focus on the identity crisis that most others do (not to undermine the importance of exploring such a topic, but it's a breath of fresh air to see a different approach being taken, especially when you consider the attitudes towards homosexuality in 1990s hong kong).

what makes 'happy together' so magical is the immersion it creates: loneliness, desperation, joy, forlornness, fondness, just to name a few. vicariously, you could feel the mutual frustration between the two characters and their frustration at, not their love, but how it manifests. rather than what is said, you ponder over what could have and should have been said instead.

'do you regret being with me?'
'damn right i do. i had no regrets until i met you. now my regrets could kill me.'

the contrast of what is being said vs what is being revealed through the narration and their actions is what breaks your heart. their toxicity is undeniable, and you know that they're better off without each other, but a small part of you both longs and dreads for po-wing to say 'let's start over.' when this doesn't happen, what are you supposed to feel?

cheung and leung's acting is certainly to be rewarded. this is my first watch of cheung, and my second watch of leung (after chungking express). they act devastatingly well, with leung somehow capturing his love for po-wing that he internalises, mostly with his acts of love and concern while his lover is in slumber or out of his sight.

as always, i adore wong kar wai's fluid direction, and the cinematography alone suffices as a reason to watch this. a beautiful film.

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mostly enjoyable

this show probably broke my kdrama block, being the first show that i had completed in a while, though i did admittedly find myself skipping a little in virtually every other episode (skipping the scenes of the antagonists mostly, as well as the second couple).

i enjoyed seeing the relationship between yo han and shi young bud. i liked the pacing of the tender moments and the way that their concern for one another manifested. despite the mentor/mentee relationship and the age dynamic, as the relationship progressed, it didn't feel like there was a perverse power dynamic influencing shi young- it seemed that they were equally romantically inexperienced, and it helps that their romantic relationship began as their professional relationship ended. i was glad that there wasn't a love triangle as well.

interesting philosophical and ethical discussions were brought to light, though i'm not sure that the timing of them were appropriate, e.g. discussing the ethicality of euthanasia when someone is in cardiac arrest. i did appreciate that they didn't necessarily force a view on the viewer, however, just inviting a discussion of such matters and the intricacies in each possible scenario.

eun jung, the nurse, was a frustrating character. of course, she had a right to be upset that her idea of retribution was not executed, but her anger was misplaced and way too drawn out. i found myself skipping most of her scenes- she was too obsessive.

i was frustrated with the final episodes. i was hoping that they wouldn't do that typical time-jump wherein the main couple have lived separately and reunite, but alas.

i'm not well-versed in medicine and so i cannot touch on how good or accurate it is as a medical drama, but things i researched out of curiosity appeared to align with the show's plot.

overall, an enjoyable watch, but not one free of complaints or criticisms. the acting was great, and i was particularly impressed by ji sung.

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healing but it will tear you apart first

a melodramatic slow-burn romance, in which two broken people find solace in one another and try to heal.

i'm writing this two months after watching it and, to be honest, the romance didn't resonate with me as much as the theme of sisterhood did. strangely, i think the most memorable scene for me is a flashback in which hae won is braiding her grandmother's hair, along with her mother, and aunt, laughing. it's a very simple scene, but i think it spoke the most to me.

'hey, don't die. if you die, i'll die. your mom will die too. our mom will die too. that's how it is. even if we seem not to care, that's what will happen.' though their sisterhood isn't shown through affection, it is very much shown through their sacrifice. hae won's mother did not hesitate in taking the fall for her younger sister, so long as hae won could still be cared for by someone. of course, this had a huge impact on hae won and how she was perceived.

this doesn't mean to say that i disliked the romance aspect, though i would have felt the same had they decided to make hae won and eun sub have a platonic relationship. for me, i saw love, but i don't think i would say that it's the typical passionate romance shown. it was a nice change but i could have done without. i also could have certainly done without the love triangle- seeing eun sub never had reciprocal feelings for bo young, it felt like an unnecessary element, beyond maybe demonstrating another reason as for why bo young and hae won may not be able to reignite a friendship, at least to how it was before.

it felt like as the story progressed, the leads were becoming as vital as the secondary characters. at times, i felt overwhelmed at times by certain revelations and kim bo young's persistence. maybe that was the point, feeling overwhelmed made us feel just a fraction of what hae won must have felt, but in terms of being an enjoyable experience, i wouldn't say it was as cosy as you'd anticipate.

one thing that particularly irked me was the portrayal of hae won's abusive father. yes... people are multi-faceted. humans are complex and unreliable, but rare kind actions do not cancel out the formidable actions. one can act kind without being kind. in fact, his ability to be kind only makes it worse that he chose not to. i honestly cannot say that i think either the aunt did anything wrong. had he had access to them, i firmly believe that he would have killed them. i understand that self-defence laws differ, but it felt frustrating that it couldn't be just ruled as manslaughter. i don't think forgiveness is necessary, nor always possible, especially in cases of domestic violence so severe, and i didn't like that it felt as if they were being forced to forgive, when there was more than one victim.

i think i would say that i preferred jang woo and eun shil's romance plot. it was definitely a little more cliche, but that kind of familiarity felt nice in this format. jang woo was probably my favourite character.

i suppose a takeaway for me is to not leave things unsaid. hae won's mother thought that correspondence and honesty would have hurt hae won, and so she distanced herself, even after her release. perhaps, it's not our right to choose what someone knows and to choose to endure their pain for them, seeing as we don't know how much future damage we may be causing, even if our intentions are pure. 'if you're family, i believe you should all share the pain together.'

my other takeaway i suppose is don't trust men except from eun sub?

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