Nice work

Overall, a nice drama

With 2nd lead storyline, one thing I wish they had focused more on was the bombshell dropped on the side of the streets on the way to the airport that HS knew and put up with YJ seeing DK behind his back for more than a year before running off with him. This to me changes things considerably, and I really, really wished that they had discussed the issue further.

To be honest, if she had only dumpted him, while painful, it would have probably been the best option had she decided that she didn't love him anymore and she loved someone else. It would have meant she had been honest and upfront, and the feel I got up until that point was flirty/sassy but fundamentally honest.

I tend to be the opposite of jealous and so I would not be disturbed in the abstract by the flirting or meeting the ex, even on-on-one, in the general case it could be a sign of the strength of their trust and the honesty in the relationhsip. However, context does matter, and if you add the fact that she had dumped him all of a sudden and not seen him for two years, things get a little creepier. If you then add the fact that she run away with said ex, and that he still has feelings for her (and, might I add, gets touchy/feely/pretty intimate -she allows him to pat her on the head, etc., puts up with his flirting and only cleverly shoots back, doesn't set up clear boundaries... this is more disturbing than allowing teh cousing to rest his head on her shoulder or lap, because the cousin never came between her and her bf, while DK did-). There is also the fact that even if she had not cheated, HS basically saw her walk out of the door without a second word, and then come back two years later, so he would have some trust issue/insecurity regardless, so it does seem inappropriate and insensitive, particularly when she is supposed to rebuild said trust (if at all possible, which is not a given).

But the fact that she actually lied to his face for more than a year before running off with her lover changes everything. In light of that, her behaviour is completely insane, the baseline of trust is very much not there, because she broke said trust, and "inappropriate" does not even begin to cover it -DK is not only the person that she run off with, but the person that she was with behind HS's back while telling the latter she was working. That's a completely different thing that dumping. Dumping essentially means being honest and upfront about her feelings and telling him he doesn't want to be together anymore, and it's the opposite of cheating (I find the notion of thought crime ludicrous, and think that everyone is allowed their fantasies, see non-jealous part above... but on the thought crime part I am dead serious: you cannot control your feelings for someone, if you don't love a person anymore and love someone else, the only two options are backstabbing your partner or leaving them, and as unpleasant as it is, at least it's honest and respectful -you treat them with dignity rather than humiliating them and treating them like a fool, or putting your own convenience ahead of basic respect and honesty in a completely self serving manner-). It's the respectful and decent thing to do. Lying to HS's face for more than a year is something else entirely.

The way she reacted to a little one-sided mini-crush with a one-sided small kiss makes the whole thing even more absurd: he is taken to task for his feelings (not really for the kiss), which frankly approaches the "thought crime" part, and the context very much matters: she might have a leg to stand on if she had not lied to his face for more than a year and then run off with another man, but he lived through that and forgave her, and she almost runs off with her lover over something so comparatively insignificant, giving the excuse that the standard is that he never even drank coffee with another girl. So, because he is much more trustworthy and honest as a baseline, it doesn't matter that he was willing to wait for her (for years), and forgive her more than one year long deception, while she cheated on him for more than one year, run off with DK for two years, and she finds no issue with her flirting and having this ambiguous relationship with the man she cheated on HS with, when she should instead be trying to restore the trust she broke, and therefore doing the exact opposite? Talk about a double standard.

I find it disturbing that she talks about being hurt and humiliated by him merely liking another girl -who doesn't like him back and is therefore no threat- for a very brief time, but does not acknowledge in any way, shape or form that what she herself did was about a billion times worst. What, since she is the type of person to cheat on her boyfriend and run off with another guy, then it's not a problem for her to flirt and indulge/lead on his cousin and DK, who she had cheated on her bf with, because it's a lower level of expectations, and her bf is used to her being fickley, while she is used to him having ever been in love with her and her alone? It seems insane, if there is someone that should take action to restore trust, and try to be mindful and understanding of any discomfort and insecurity her partner would rightly have while trying to heal and rebuild trust after her horrific betrayal, it would be her (that would include stopping with the flirting and not indulging the peopele that have feelings for her, setting clear boundaries, particularly with DK who she had an affair with for more than a year and run off with for two).

I mean, aside from basic morality, this is just practical. Again, no issue in principle with flirting or talking on the phone/spending time with ex-es, even one on one. If said ex is someone that you cheated on your partner with for more than a year, and then run off for two, and you are trying to get your partner to trust you again (and in any case you don't want to hurt them), than maybe phone calls and one-to-one meetings or lunches where you tease/flirt and you indulge them and make clever come-backs rather than set clear boundaries and tell them that this behaviour is not acceptable would be just practical. There simply isn't the necessary trust with her current partner for him to be okay, and confident that she would respect the boundaries and not backstab him, because in the past she didn't respect such boundaries and lied to his face for more than a year. Trust needs to be built up, and teasing, being flippant, jockingly asking about his opinion of her involvement with DK... if you need to ask, with DK as with her cousin, then you already know the answer. If he acts as if he is okay and he is not, then probably ask yourself why he doesn't feel confortable sharing that he is not okay, and realize that mocking his concerns is literally insane when he has every reason in the world to be concerned: her cheating with DK is not paranoia, it's something that actually happened after they had been together for almost a decade, and went on for more than a year.

She doesn't take his concerns seriously and doesn't seem interested in rebuilding trust (assuming that it's even possible, though the show basically doesn't make a big deal about it and sweeps the issue under the rug, completely unrealistically in my opinion... I mean, the mild unease of someone that had been dumped when she run off with another man is one thing, and is probably bigger than what he demonstrated in terms of insecurity, but here we are talking about her having a more than year long affair before running off with the guy without another word... this ought to have been much more of an issue, and it was mentioned, in much more muted tones, and then dropped).

This is a problem. She was lucky enought that HS waited for her and forgave her and took her back, the least she could do would be actually care about what HS thinks. If it's a concern, it deserves to be discussed and addressed seriously, not mocked. He needs to be comfortable sharing his fears and insecurities, while being given the safety to know that, even without agreeing, she would at least take his perspective and his concerns seriously. Instead they are made light of, and he puts up with the mocking tone. But it's not a jocking matter that should be treated flippantly. It's serious. And in this case, it's not paranoia, or him doubting a trustworthy person. It's something that actually did happen, and it's him dealing with someone that had already broken his trust by lying to his face for more than a year.

I was disappointed in not seeing them discuss her feelings for DK, his feelings for HS himself at the time and now, why she did what she did, why she changed her mind, and honestly discussing boundaries and what he is comfortable with (and if he tries to play it cool but it's obvious to everyone that he is not unaffected, and she sees it clearly, otherwise she wouldn't have asked, not to mention she used the still infatuated DK, who she had cheated on her bf with, to make her bf jealous... she clearly knows he doesn't like the guy and for good reason, even if he shakes his hand and acts as if he is not bothered... she knows all this, she just doesn't care, and she very much should, if she wants to rebuild trust... all the while asking *him* to not get too attached to FL -prescient words, but here it's not her that had been given any reason to fear she couldn't trust him-... again, my perspective on this is that give the context, it's perfectly fine to pay someone back with their own coin, and if you didn't show any honesty, loyalty and respect to someone, you are not entitled to any in return -for the same reason, I was perfectly fine with, say, the betrayed wife in A Good Lawyer's Wife cheating on her husband... and I actually did wish that things would have developed into a more serious triangle for the sake of the drama, but it instead turned into a one-sided mini-crush with a small kiss she didn't reciprocate... again, the premise being that he put up with her betrayal for more than a year, and then she run off with another man without a word for two years, so a one sided mini crush and small unreciprocated kiss are really so insignificant by comparison that anyone in her position, or anyone sane with any sense of perspective, really, should feel ashamed to even mention it in the same sentence... and I am saying she would have deserved it if a more serious affair happened? Yes, yes I am very much saying exactly that -she has no leg to stand on- and no, it wouldn't have been the same thing, because, again, someone that didn't show any loyalty, respect and honesty is not entitled to any in return: she cheated on someone that thought her incapable of anything of the sort, and that never even drunk coffee with another girl and was fully focused on her, while he would have cheated on someone that deceived him for more than a year, run off without another word with her lover despite his begging, and two years later came back fully expecting that he would be still waiting for her and entirely focused on her, telling him that things didn't pan out with the man she had cheated on him with for more than a year and run off to live with for two, and that she now wants to be with him again -the old pair of shoes she dropped on the side that she assumed, unfortunately correctly, she would find in the same place and still waiting for her-, and that didn't do a single thing to rebuild his broken trust, or in any way care to set boundaries, if not with his cousin, who was not a threat, at least with the ex she cheated with an who is still infatuated with her... if the question is "don't you trust me?", the answer is unfortunately that he has no reason to, and every reason not to).

That's the thing, she dares to talk about not trusting anymore, but it's him that has been given no reason to trust her, and there is simply no proportions (you can say that pushing someone after they shoved you is violence and punching people in the face at random in the street -aka the knockout game-, or shooting up a school, are also violence, but then you lose all sense of proportions... plus, again, 100% in support of the betrayed wife in The Magicians sleeping with another man: turnabout is fair play, if you dish it out, you should be able to take it, if you don't want there to be s**t, don't start s**t). The fact, given the context, is that she is not owed any trust, and apparently doesn't seem to care about reassuring him in the slightest, treating the question in a joking and flippant manner, which would have been appropriate had she been honest with him and not given him a reason to not trust her, but given that she had completely betrayed the trust he had put in her, her mocking or minimizing his concerns and dislike of DK, for example, is really gaslighting.

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