Esta resenha pode conter spoilers
Nice view, would have appreciated some more detail ond 2nd couple
Overall I liked the story.I accept it's a trope and I wasn't bothered, but ML got much less flack than SML probably on account of being hot, despite being the kind of overbearing and brash rich playboy that ought to have driven such ire, even flirting with his cousin's gf, plus the whole thing with the kiss, where he can be a player but it's expected that his gf having been kissed (indeed, she is a virgin, antother trope) -and not even reciprocating- before they got together would have bothered him. Frankly, no need to bring it up if he doesn't ask, just as his previous experiences, but not something he should be lied about if he does ask -now, if this was cheating during the relationship then she should bring it up, but it's another case-.
I believe in general that "doing it for the other person" is utterly self serving and blatantly untrue -the person in question is the only one with the right to decide what's good for them, and you cannot pretend to care while carrying on an affair and lying to their faces, you are doing this for you, and at the end of the day whatever your motivation, it matters more to you than giving your partner a modicum of loyalty, respect and honesty, and breaking things off without deceiving them-.
Again, I got the feeling that it was reflective of HS's, the SML's, pain at the betrayal he had to suffer through for more than a year, but in reality imho he is better off knowing, and ultimately only the person him/herself can decide what's good for them, it's not a call the one that did wrong is entitled to make -with the excuse of "wanting to protect" and "doing for your own good", oftentimes it's self serving, and you even get to feel noble to keep the secret rather than reveal it to unburden yourself... outta here with that hogwash-.
Overall I would have liked more details on the background of the second lead's relationship and cheating/running off/running back again (why? what prompted the change of heart, then and now?). The cheating was hidden until the end (and not shown in flashbacks, conveniently and somewhat unbelievably focusing only on happy moments without thinking about her with DK during the tormenting more than year long betrayal, etc.). I felt kind of manipulated by the cheating reveal happening late (I assumed that she had just dumped him), but it was probably done for shock value -though it's then kind of swept under the rug- and possibly so that it would be late enough in the game that the viewer is already committed to the pairing.
I found YJ entirely self entitled and with no sense of perspective, and entirely focused on her feelings while ignoring her bf's. He confesses to knowing of her more than year long betrayal and demeaning himself to uselessly beg her to stay, and she ignores the show-stopping fact that he knew of her lies and proceed to ask how could she love someone else after all that (the question should be the exact opposite: how could he love *her* after all that, and in what universe does she think she is even remotely worth it, let alone entitled to, as she seems to believe, him giving her a second chance and wanting to be with her, given her past -and present, for that matter- behavior), and talk about her feeling pathetic for him watching a message when she was not looking? After lying to him for more than a year and him forgiving her, and demeaning himself to beg her to stay, then and now, when she used the man she cheated with to threaten him and make him jealous, saying he loves her still and she might start to reciprocate again? She has the gall to talk about broken trust after lying to his face for more than a year, and leaving for two, then coming back expecting everything to be the same and for him to still be in love with her and only her, without doing anything to rebuild the trust *she* had broken, and worst yet, she was basically right, i.e. he took her back, begged her to stay a second time, and all she did to get his love and trust was just stay there and not leave? Even in the end, the admission that she left because her pride wouldn't allow her to tolerate him leaving her... after he swallowed his pride to ignore her year long deception and cheating, her leaving with another man for two years, and continuing to talk with and meet up with the man she cheated with, and him pretending he was okay with it and shaking the guy's hand as if nothing had happened, and having to play along as she mocks him with hurt pride, mocks his understandable insecurities she just recently exploited, intentionally, to make him jealous... she knew very well the effect the man had on him, and didn't care to extend any consideration even when she was the one that was supposedly trying to get back together with the ex she had betrayed and was supposed to act to rebuild trust, which she never did.
Frankly, him staying around and waiting for her, and having no other experience other than the aborted unrequited mini-crush that he got so much grief on (utterly unfairly, considering the context -they are about a billion to one-) was unrealistic, as is him having flashbacks only of the good times when he carries this much pain about her more than year long betrayal: we are not show those memories, which realistically he should have had, because then we would have had to consider the fact that he really has no reason whatsoever to pine after her, when basically anyone else (or nobody: better alone than in bad company) would have been a better choice, having never betrayed him in such a manner. Her threatening to leave him with DK, who still loved her, and using the latter to make him jealous, only staying when she realized the absurd unfairness of her behavior, but even then not waiting for him and giving him space as he did, but turning back when he begged her to stay -so still pressuring him into compliance rather than giving him space-, as well as her attitude of considering him having a mini crush on the same level as her more than year long betrayal and running away for two year, only coming back when he broke up with DK, and having the gall to talk about trust and feeling pitiful and pride, when he was so humiliated and was basically lacking any self respect and self dignity, debasing himself to beg, at the time and now... to use DK to make him jealous and threaten to leave with him to force a decision was sociopathically self entitled.
Frankly I am flabbergasted by Yoo-joo’s attitude. She seems to truly believe she can cheat on, neglect, and mistreat Han-sung and he will always be there for her. Unfortunately for him, he got so much flack for this unrequited mini-crush (especially when you consider that all he did was send a few charming smiles her way and sneak one teeny tiny kiss), despite having forgiven his girlfriend's more than a year long betrayal still being not only willing, but begging, to stay with her at the end of it... he has to beg and grovel for her to get over his momentary interest in someone else, begging her to not leave for DK once again.
The more than a year of cheating changed everything for me, the flirting, the cousin, and keeping in contact with the man she dumped HS, as well as the lack of any consideration for HS's feelings and his lack of comfort sharing what he felt wrt DK (with good reason, given she is impatient and mocks him, which he plays along with, playing it cool, while still feeling disturbed... it's not good he cannot open up, and they didn't talk about her cheating and then running off at all, or the reason for the breakup, all things that should have realistically been part of rebuilding trust, and yet it seems that the fact he pines after her and her not leaving should fix everything she had broken in and of themselves... no, broken trust and psychological damage is not fixed like that, otherwise people would choose to flip a switch and be okay, and nobody would need therapy)... they turned from HS' insecurities for being dumped and her sassy attitude within the limits, to something much more sinister, considering she *did* cheat for a year and lie to his face, so he knows she is capable of not being honest with him and backstab him. I feel that the writers put off the reveal to such a later date because then people would be "invested" enough to ignore it, which was largely the case.
All in all, I must say YJ and HS's relationship did seem unequal, with him not even drinking coffee with other girls while she flirted and talked on the phone and met up with the man she cheated on him with, with plenty of rather inappropriate touching with cousin and DK, both of which were in love with her, and one of which did come between her and her boyfriend, leading to more than a year of cheating and her running off with him for two years. Also, two different standards, where she is not willing to give even a fraction of what HS did, and is triggered and complains of trust and pride and pathetic when he was put through a billion times worse (while he was not even reciprocated after his small kiss). They were not equal in their actions, nor in what they were willing to give the other. Verbally she says she loves him more than him does her, and that she is equally triggered by his mini-crush, both claims leaving someone somewhat in disbelief, because she didn't really do anything to show it (nor did he really require her to... when he asked for space, she threatened to leave him for DK, again, and then she almost did -in any case abandoning him for a few days-, then he was beaten into submission and asked her not to go), and because even if true, it's on one hand nice to see her jealous and finally not taking HS for granted, because it means she cares, but on the other hand it's similar to the sexist, unequal situation where you have a philandering husband having plenty of affairs, and when his wife looks at another man he divorces her on the spot. He was willing to wait for her, she was not.
I particularly hated the bit about her cooking kimchi and doing house chores (which they are both more than rich enough to delegate), because like in This Week My Wife Is Having An Affair this seemed to be missing the point: this is like a nice car without engine, if you are dealing with someone lacking loyalty, honesty and that betrayed your trust, the fact that they cook for you is both besides the point and an insulting notion (are you really telling me that I am supposed to be "won over" by such a cheap tactic). It's not a substitute for loyalty, respect and honesty. I would have very much preferred to see her do something to rebuild trust (not that I think it would be possible in reality, and not that it is necessary in the drama: she just shows up and he takes her back, but it would have been nice to see her at least try, while she does absolutely nothing to rebuild trust or address his very valid fears, concerns, insecurities, resentments, which swept under the rugs or made the object of ridicule -insultingly comparing more than a year of lies and running off for two without another word, even after he begged him, to a one sided mini-crush that ended before it even begun, and a small one sided kiss-, and he has to play along), or refraining from doing something that further destroyed it (like flirting or talking to/meeting up with one one one with a still smitten ex-lover that she had cheated with, and that despite protestations to the contrary HS clearly had issues with and for good reason -and she knows it, otherwise she wouldn't have used him to make him jealous, nor she would have bothered to ask if he had an issue: she knows, and she knows she cheated with him for more than a year and run away for two, and that the guy is still holding a candle for her, and not only is she aware of this fact, but exploits it, and indulges his flirting/touching which was not really appropriate given the context of the cheating... again, before I could chalk it up to being sassy and her being inconsiderate or naive, but the "make him jealous" part and the way she teases HS clearly shows she knows he has an issue with DK and for good reason ("strange to hear you say something nice about DK", etc.-). Hard to see care or a desire to rebuild trust.
In terms of that part, I was kind of disappointed to see HS object to the working overnight and drinking, but not to the cooking and housework, while she was pregnant. The bit about him working and drinking was nonsensical, really, because there is a clear difference: he is not pregnant. Sure, it woulad be nice for him to abstain as well in solidarity, but particularly the drinking is something that she does not need to do, professionally, and that is obviously hurtful to the child (I don't know if this is something about the time period or place, but in the drama they do mention that the doctor made that clear to them, and there was a scene were she was about to drink and refrained, prior to the night of drinking with the coworkers). It made the miscarriage all the more horrible, because one couldn't help but wonder.
Wish I had more context about her affair with DK, why she left and why she is now back. She claimed to love DH. Did she love him more than HS? Did she stop loving HS? How could she deceive him? Why has she suddenly chosen to come back to him? What changed? If she jumped back in my life after not seeing her for two years (plus more than a year of betrayal) I would have been very curious to get some answers to those questions, they should have certainly discussed the DK elephant in the room more. And she should have tried to rebuild trust or done anything to convey that she cared that was not about her (as running away was), but rather about fighting to have HS in her life because it mattered to her (as he did by taking her back and begging her twice). But he did not require any convincing, and he was "scared straight" by the threat of her leaving him for DK, the man she had cheated with (something that ought to have given her pause and elicit some sort of guilt, but she barely apologized, and it's not clear to me whether it was for running off or for the affair, and whether she knew he knew at the beginning of the drama... she does not comment on it, but it's really not something that should be treated as her just dumping him, because lying to someone for over a year, systematically, has very different implication about basic respect, honesty, etc. and changes things). Why did she come back? Was it because DK cheated with the "underwear model"? But he still loves her? Was she the one that realized she didn't love him and loved HS? But she did say that she did love DK when she run off with him. This is something that not only I want to know, but that HS should have wanted to know as well, to understand what is going on.
The actors claimed that at the time they didn't get YJ and HS's relationship (from what I have seen they don't say that they get it now, but I might be mistaken). At 34, I would say that I don't really "get" it in terms of "look at this enlightment and wishdom I get because I am so mature", but I do get what is going on, and frankly this was the emotional abuse equivalent of a wife beating drunk persuading/gaslighting the battered housewife with stockholm syndrome to get back together. It's not realistic for him to pine after her for years and not ever pursue anything besides a still born romance, and take her back with such minimal attention to pain, physchological damage, insecurities, broken trust -it's brought up in episodes, as in This Week My Wife Is Having An Affair, and frankly even less, given that he takes her back immediately and when she threatens to leave him for DK again, impossibly he begs her to stay and it erases his thoughts about other women, rather than reaffirm them given the sociopathic cruelty of such an ultimatum to manipulate him and make him jealous, in light of the affair... again, nice that she was jealous, because she cares, but also chilling that she would do such a move to twist his arm-. I wish they had made her simply dump him. The fact that she lied to his face for more than a year when she was seeing DK behind his back is frankly the hardest part to square with the claim that she loves him more than he loves her..
I mean, how could she not see how much she had hurt and humiliated him, how miraculous him being willing to give her another chance was, and how she has not felt even a billionth of a fraction of what she had put him through, over more than a year of lying and then abandoning him for two years and coming back and upending his life, expecting him to have waited and take her back, when she was not willing to do even a fraction of that for him... and yet, the flirting she didn't stop, the ambiguity with DK, etc., which all take a very different meaning and light considering she didn't just dump HS, but cheated on him for more than a year. The intimacy and caresses from someone than loved her, and contrary to HS's cousin, had an affair with her while they were still together for more than a year, before YJ run off to NY for two.
When she mentions trust, pathetic, pride, etc.. over him reading a message? How could she not also think about the billions of times worse humiliations he had endured, his suffering over more than a year of affair and lying, her running off for two years and disappearing from his life despite his begging... Without a sociopathic level of shamelessness and self entitlement/self centeredness, it's impossible to understand how she could say this with a straight face, and while it's good that she feels jealous because at least she cares, it's also unjust and completely insane that she has no sense of perspective and does not acknowledge, or even think of, how much worse he must have felt given what she had subjected him to, and for how long.
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