When you fall, you will fall hard...

I'm not talking about the characters, I'm talking about you!
I truly did not expect to get so emotionally invested in this series. The characters, the story (despite its flaws) and the music really grew on me throughout the 37 episodes. The main draw for me though was the palpable chemistry between the main OTP. Their interactions were littered with a platonic but almost homoerotic subtext. Whether I'm reading too much into it is up to you, but whenever Yue Lou turned his intense and crazily flirtatious gazes on Yu Zhi, and Yu Zhi returned his gaze with an innocent, slightly quizzical but very accepting look totally melted my heart.

If you're hesitating to watch the series, don't! There are so many touching and enjoyable moments to experience in the series. If you have been spoilt about how it ends and don't think you can handle it, just stick to the alternate ending and you won't regret devoting your time to this amazing series.

Warning: the following contains major spoilers so don't read ahead if you don't want to be spoilt. Plus this is really really long… forgive me.

The story starts out simply enough with Jiang Yue Lou, a hot-tempered policeman on a mission to rid his beloved hometown Jing Cheng of the threat of an opium influx. He meets the kind-hearted and selfless doctor Chen Yu Zhi in a raid and mistakes him for a criminal. Luckily the misunderstanding is quickly resolved and the pair part ways, though Yu Zhi isn't totally partial to Yue Lou's violent ways. The pair coincidentally meet again in Hong Kong and through a series of situations they gradually grow closer. The story develops with the pair united with common goals of rooting out several moles, protecting their loved ones (particularly each other!), and identifying the mastermind behind the opium den and discovering his end game. There are a few plotholes and the story definitely feel rushed in certain places (hello easily dissipated rebellion), but I have to say that I was hooked with each new twist and turn in the story. The fact that Yue Lou and Yu Zhi always stood by each others' side and never wavered no matter what definitely made it a more enjoyable watch.

My love for the characters also extends to the supporting cast, which does not always happen in a drama! Chu Ran is everything an awesome female character should be - independent, smart and loyal. She stands up for what she believes in and also for anyone who is wronged, and is willing to sacrifice her own happiness to help her loved ones. She loves Yue Lou, but puts her feelings aside when she finds out that there is little chance if it being requited. She helps Yu Zhi and Yue Lou in any way she can, as a journalist and with her privileged status in life. This is why out of all the tragic endings I feel like hers was the least deserved.

I felt a little less convinced about the 2nd OTP's bond. Dont get me wrong, I did root for a happy and peaceful ending for them both (even though I knew that had about a 0% chance of happening), but their relationship was a bit more convoluted by their backgrounds and true agendas. Boss Yu was unfortunately destined to have a tragic ending as he was consumed by taking revenge and Jun Bai was not willing to give up his desire for power for anything or anyone. Despite being the ultimate villain, I didn't actually hate Jun Bai. Sure I cursed him several times as he continually schemed against and caused pain to my favourite OTP, but he wasn't completely evil or devoid of compassion. He actually seemed to consider Yue Lou a friend, deliberately giving him waaay too many chances to squirrel his way out of danger, he allowed Yu Zhi to reunite and leave with his sister even though killing them both would have been a breeze, and he couldn't bring himself to get rid of Boss Yu, even letting him go when all common sense screamed that doing that would come back to bite him in the end (which it did). I saw him and Boss Yu's relationship as a way he could have redeemed himself, a way out to be a good man, but he didn't take that opportunity, which lead to a tragic end for the couple.

Commissioner Bai and Jiang Sheng Nan are the parental figures in the various stages of Yue Lou's life who have helped shaped Yue Lou into the person he is. They both bring extreme pain to him, but at least they have some form of closure with him before they succumb to their respective demise. Plus Yu Zhi is always there to comfort Yue Lou in his grief when he loses them. "You still have us (ie. me)" he says with those loving eyes.

Song Rong and Sun Yong Ren are subordinates any police detective would be proud to have, with Yong Ren providing comic relief and Song Rong being steadfast and capable. Da Cheng and Yi Ren seemed like flaky, one-dimensional characters at first, but both played a part in major plot developments as the series progressed. As a side note I couldn't help laughing in the last episode when Da Cheng became the unexpected hero of the quelling of the rebellion, chasing after the bad guys with guns he didn't have to reload and bringing an end to bad guy Commissioner Zhan.
I was surprised by how high the body count was by the end, but boy was I glad the couple who rescued Yue Lou from the river did not experience a tragic end (one less stab in the heart for our precious Yue Lou).

This leaves me to comment on the relationship of our lead characters. To be honest, I didn't find Yu Zhi and Yue Lou's first meeting in the warehouse too impressionable, nor was their first encounter in HK. I only started feeling the stirrings of something deeper when Yue Lou showed the first signs of trusting Yu Zhi, relying on his help to contact his men when he was in hiding by tracing with his finger a secret symbol only known to his subordinates onto the doctor's palm, and proceeding to closing his hand with his own oh so gently. Their first real skinship marked a big step in the relationship, with the usually untrusting Yue Lou relying on someone he had only really just met but who had saved his life. What sealed the deal for me was when he failed to persuade the good doctor to return with him to Jing Cheng for his own safety, so he resorted to knocking him out and kidnapping him back with him. The self-satisfied look on Yue Lou's face when Yu Zhi woke up on the trip back cracked me up so much... he looked extremely pleased with himself, confident that his actions had saved Yu Zhi from certain doom. Their relationship never stopped developing from there, with Yu Zhi discovering and helping to treat Yue Lou with his bipolar disorder, and Yue Lou secretly helping Yu Zhi establish his clinic and in his search for Ke Ying. The trust and unspoken understanding between the two went from strength to strength, transcending both friendship and brotherhood. No matter what was thrown between them, they had unwavering faith in each other, and only thought of the other even when their own life was in danger. It was so pure, I thought even romantic with the title reference to an old Chinese love poem highlighting what their relationship truly was. Not only their verbal interactions were a joy to watch, the longing glances, the visible pain of separation and the more obvious physical contact - the hand on the wrist, the heartfelt hug and Yue Lou's tendency to grip (and caress!) Yu Zhi on the back of the neck all lead me to believe they had something deeper than any normal bromance. I loved all their scenes together, but the scene where Yue Lou proceeds to try Mo Qing's gift to him of a tie on a dumbfounded but cooperative Yu Zhi right in front of her was priceless!

If you need more proof, the commentary and jokes by side characters indirectly allude to the true nature of their relationship. Chu Ran joking about intruding when dropping in on them having wontons for example, or more overtly Da Cheng's remark about how their relationship did not seem innocent (he hit the nail on the head there!). Then there are their positive reactions when in separate situations each denied having an interest in anyone of the opposite sex... So. Many. Hints.

All in all the acting was solid, with Mao Zi Jun being a standout due to the number of different faces he had to put on, and the range of emotions he had to go through with his character. His protectiveness of Yu Zhi wasn't overbearing or aggressive like a lot of characters sketched out to be the hot tempered of a pair and was well tempered by MZJ. I loved the contrast of Yu Zhi's soft demeanor and cool-headedness and thought Ian Yi did a great job with nuanced expressions that wholly suited the character.

On the technical side, I also fell in love with the soundtrack, not just the title and insert songs but the bgms as well. The same songs get played throughout the series, but I never got tired of listening to them, each piece evoking the sought after emotion in the viewer as it played in the background. My only gripe is with the editing - the parts that were censored out lead to some discontinuity in the sound and story, not to mention that these contained some juicy moments. Thankfully they have been released as a clip to be watched outside of the episodes.

Now the ending - I was actually prepared for it when I was only a quarter way through the series as I accidentally spoilt it for myself by reading a spoiler comment. Maybe that was a good thing as I may have been too shocked if I hadn't had prepared myself mentally for it. I also watched the happy ending, but because it felt like a cut and paste job it wasn't as satisfactory as I would have liked. The sad ending was truly that - the positive was that IY and MZJ acted it out so beautifully (extra kudos to MZJ for acting out his grief in such an intense and heartfelt way). Think about it this way - it's only because you care so much about the characters that it hurts so damn much!

It's been such a pleasure watching Yue Lou and Yu Zhi develop such an epic bond, with utter devotion to each other. I love them both individually and as a couple and will never forget them. The journey that is "Killer and Healer" is rough - you will laugh, you will cry and you will suffer terribly from withdrawal when the ride is over, but believe me it's all worth it. I'm planning to do it all again soon!

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