Let me preface this review by saying that I believe people should be able to pursue love in defiance of heteronormative expectations. That being said, I’m very allergic to the “boys will be boys” patriarchal narrative designed to prevent accountability and protect men from the consequences of their actions. It’s an unethical stance that prevents mutual thriving of both partners in a relationship.

I decided before settling down to watch this drama that I wouldn’t take the intellectually lazy option of making infidelity simply an issue about morals. It’s an undeniable truism that when it comes to cheating, no one can wreak your home alone. So I approached this wanting to look beyond the simplistic formula of hating the other woman and giving the husband a pass.

The storyline of Love (ft. Marriage and Divorce) is about the reality and complexity of married life and what happens when couples stop nurturing their marriage. We get to see what divides those willing to risk the love that they know for the fantasy they feel they lost along the way from the ones who love faithfully with all that they have and all that they are. In the end, I think one of the most important messages this drama imparts is this: there isn’t a certain kind of identifiable person who will cheat on their spouse.

The three main female characters, who work on a radio show together, are at different stages in their lives (one in her 30s, one in her 40s, one in her 50s) and are all having marital problems - whether they’re aware of it or not. Si-eun, the oldest and longest-married of the three is a dedicated wife and mother constrained, like many mothers are, by the cult of domesticity. She is the epitome of the “good wife” and conforming to this ideal means she is a selfless, sacrificial, self-neglecting caregiver. Her marriage to Park Hae-Ryun is a reminder of what unacknowledged sacrifice looks like.

In the scene before we meet Si-eun’s husband, we see Pi-young - the second oldest of the trio- berating her mother for what she perceives are her shortcomings. Their relationship is estranged because she thinks that her mother’s inability to forgive her father after he had an affair is what killed him. In defence of her father’s behaviour, she tells her mother: “Even I would been swayed by a sweet, kind hearted secretary if I had to come home to a difficult wife. It’s only natural. Rather than being a snob, if you had respected dad as your husband, he never would have cheated on you.”

The ensuing scene tests the veracity of this assumption. We see Si-eun, the good wife, stunned to silence by her husband's request that they end their marriage. His deceptive, and at times unnecessarily cruel, reasons for wanting to end their relationship demonstrates that being a dutiful spouse in a relationship doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending. In reality, Pi-young’s assumptions in the earlier scene about what makes a marriage work isn't always universal and sound rather naïve.

As we watch Pi-young’s relationship with her husband (Shin Yoo-shin) unfold, one thing that becomes very clear is that a man is going to do whatever he wants no matter how clean his wife keeps the house or how hot his meal is. Pi-young and Shin Yoo-shin’s marriage is a reminder of the pitfalls of putting men on a pedestal.

Hye-ryoung, the youngest of the group, thinks that her marriage to Pan Sa-hyun is going well until a rude awakening jolts her to the reality of her situation. Getting married quickly because you fall in love isn't always a good idea, which is why the saying “marry in haste repent at leisure” exists. Theirs is the most toxic of the three marriages because they both lack emotional maturity and have mismatched core values. After endless arguments, what Pan Sa-hyun seeks when he meets Song Won in the gym is mainly the validation of desirability.

Throughout this drama we witness how patriarchial and gendered socialisation impacts the lives of all three women. The actions of the husbands feel a lot like they’re rebelling against adulthood and their readily available symbols of settled male authority. Something which isn’t an option for their wives...because someone (read: a woman) has to ensure that the family’s domestic idyll continues to run like clockwork even if men chafe against the demands of marriage and domesticity. Unlike men, women hold space for the whole emotional story of the family and suffer a huge sense of guilt for not meeting the gender expectations of motherhood. Unlike men who succeed in identities that they define for themselves, women often try to succeed in identities defined for them by society.

There are other behaviours apart from infidelity that are harmful to a marriage and Yoo-shin’s stepmother Kim Dong-mi's passive aggression towards her husband is a stark reminder of this. Despite her outward displays of affection towards him, their relationship isn’t the domestic idyll of first impression. Being married to a man almost two decades older grates on her and we discover soon enough that her devotion to her spouse isn’t really about genuine affection but rather spurned on by the comfort & stability the marriage brings. I was stunned by her apathy and callous disregard for her him in his moment of need… Hello floor, meet jaw.

I expected some compelling drama when I clicked on this show and although it started off rather well, it never really lived up to its potential. I watched it till the end because the flaws of the marriages and their relatable human emotions kept me interested. However this drama has some obvious flaws, which is one of the reasons I haven’t rated it higher. Its main problems were bad editing and a lack of momentum from around half way in when flashbacks start to dominate the storytelling. Also, it's not clear if the intention of the drama is to criticise social norms in Korea or merely to entertain and entrench social attitudes. The ending felt rather rushed and contrived which makes me feel a bit weary about what lies ahead in season 2. Let’s hope the production lives up to its promise of exceeding viewers' expectations.