A Teddy Bear’s Purpose

What is the purpose of a teddy bear? In many cases, a teddy bear is given as a toy to a child for companionship. What does a child who receives a teddy bear do with it? The child will play with the teddy bear, hug the teddy bear when happy or sad, and tell the teddy bear their innermost thoughts and feelings. If the child is angry, mad, or scared, the teddy bear may become the object to punch, hit or scream after. But no matter what happens, the teddy bear is always by the child’s side again as a source of comfort.
While others may not agree with me, Tofu was exactly that for Nut – his source of comfort and stability when all else seemed doomed. Imagine living a life in sheer terror and disdain for a physically and verbally abusive father and a meek mother. Imagine not being able to be yourself and conform to the idea of what your father and society want. Imagine loving someone you are not supposed to because it is 'abnormal'. Imagine fighting all these outer and inner demons but with the one familiar thing constantly by your side – the teddy bear.
Tofu’s existence came at a time when Nut needed him the most. Even when Tofu became the object of Nut’s unhealthy actions and stood idly by when Nut was horrible to him, the only purpose he knew was to be Nut's source of comfort and understanding. Tofu became the physical and emotional warmth Nut needed even if Nut was terrible to him. Eventually, Tofu became the connection bringing communication, respect, and love to a strained mother-son relationship.
I will admit that I cried because it was painful to see Tofu sacrifice himself for Tarn. However, I also understand why he did it as well. He fulfilled his purpose and eventually returned to being a teddy bear. Although he is not with Nut in a human form, he is still there! He is still Nut's source of comfort and peace!

Tofu understood the assignment, and so did I!

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Lustful, Passionate, Simply Amazing!

I happened across Mood Indigo from a recommendation from an MDL friend. I have found that BLs like Mood Indigo with a storyline with life’s everyday challenges, struggles, and triumphs and the dashes of realism of life have drawn my attention.
From the onset, Mood Indigo's visual beauty reminded me of movies that are modern but seemed aged because of the cinematographic ways light and sound make it visually stunning, sensual, and realistic. Both Kijima and Kido came from places of just living - just surviving because life is happening while they wait for an end place.
My first thought watching was that Kijima was only interested in Kido after learning about his job. From Kido, I got that Kijima was his demigod – Kijima was mortal but to him Kijima was untouchable. However, that chance meeting set into motion their journey to places both Kijima and Kido never planned or expected.
Kido’s thoughts of Kijima as an untouchable demigod fueled his desire for Kijima. Even in their slightest interactions, Kido’s lustful wanting was evident in every interaction. I felt that Kijima was always a sensual being (Kijima has a f**kable voice. You know the kind of voice you hear and instantly get tingly in certain places). However, that sensuality, his true eroticism, and learning how his eroticism could make his desires drive his writing did not manifest themselves until his first sexual encounter with Kido. Every sexual encounter – scenes were well done - personified their lust, passion, and love for each other. However, beyond eroticism, the story of betrayal, forgiveness, and a forever burning love made this a must-watch and rewatch. I experienced Kijima’s loneliness, heartbreak, sexuality, and Kijo’s rage, jealousy, opportunism, and lust. But I also saw and felt their love - a love both had long after their paths separated.

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