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A Realistic Portrayal of Queerness in Conservative Places - NOT a BL
To elaborate on the headline, the story follows a realistic journey of a gay man in a very conservative & bigoted environment such as SK. Despite the curated places in which queer life rejoices, our MC deals with bigotry and prejudiced outlooks on various aspects of his queer experience. Therefore, if you go into it expecting a BL cliché, disappointment will await you. The show has its ups and down, let's dissect.
TRIGGER WARNINGS !!!
Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Sexism, Suicide, Suicidal Ideation, Abortion, Prejudice Against HIV Patients, Sexual Assault (IMO), Cancer, Death.
- MC, aka Ko Yeong:
to put it simply, he's a dynamic character. he can be a bit frustrating at times although I personally didn't feel bothered by those situations. for example, when he aggressively turns down the photographer guy, I couldn't help but think he was being needlessly cruel during the act. however, upon observing the following sequence of events, I understood why he choose to be bluntly honest, to the point of cruelty.
Additionally, I loved how unnerved as a person he is. despite the social dilemmas and often times, outright traumatizing experiences he went through, he remaind optimistic. Watching him grow up and mature was such a delight, albeit gut wrenching at times. His growth regarding love and romance was very relatable as most queer people in conservative places struggle with imagining a happy future with a romantic partner, but that doesn't stop the yearning and loneliness which often feasts on the failures of meeting said yearnings.
- Social Commentary:
I'm impressed with how packed the show was with social commentary on several topics within the show, which is mainly why I think it would be unfair to call the show a BL. no offense to BL fans, I like a fair share of them. However, it's undeniable how facetious and fetishising the industry is as a whole. what sets shows such as Love in the Big City and I Told Sunset About You is that they deal with queerness as a reflection and portrayal of real life rather than arbitrary fiction. that aside, the show deals with a plenty of social taboos, not only concerning queerness, for example:
* Feminist issues: the show has a healthy dose of discussion regarding sexism and feminism, from the shaming of sexually liberated women to abortion to misogyny. although I think more could've been done, the little we got was appropriate and left space for discussion and reflection. ~8/10
* Religious bigotry against homosexuality in a way that mainly focuses on queer people's truama rather than exposing the hypocrisy of religious bigots, which is what I encounter more often. interestingly, we've encountered two very different portrayals of homophobia caused by religion. the first instance being the editor boyfriend whose shame and internalized homophobia pushed him into living a double life. in one, he doesn't deny himself the carnal pleasure of sexual intercourse with Yeong whereas in the other, he viciously contributes to the abundance of bigoted ideologies cemented in academic spaces, something that I personally think is sinister considering SK's hyperfixation on education and pretentious academic achievements. The second instance is Yeong's mum who went from sending her son to conversion therapy to slowly accepting him. Although there was no scene in which they talk it out, I am satisfied with that since change doesnt happen overnight and she clearly didn't have the time to sit it down and deconstruct her prejudice, yet she did give her son the closure he needed in a final act of love. 9/10
* HIV:
This one might be the heaviest imo. the show fleshes out the soical reception of HIV's patients and how prejudice against them is integrated into the fabric of every aspect of life, even queer spaces. we see how Yeong's diagnosis affected his relationship with almost everyone and everything, from potential lovers to friends to work to travel. I think this one is an enough reason to watch the show. so incredibly well done. ~10/10
(regarding the sexual assault trigger warning, proceeding to have unprotected sex with someone and giving them an STD/STI while knowingly being actively reckless with others, is sexual assault in my opinion.)
*Mental Health:
there was an attempt. I don't think it's one of the most impressive or well-done I've seen but it was good enough to deliver the point and delay the emotions of the characters to the viewer. I think they quickly moved from the suicide of the photographer, although they did a good enough job addressing Yeong's attempt. I'm unsure whether i would've liked it better had they spent more time delving into the mental stuggles that queer people go through in a highly difficult environment such as Seoul, nonetheless, I'm satisfied with what we got. 7/10
- The Friendships:
MC's friendship with Mi Ae is quite impressive considering that majority of depictions of the friendship between gay men and straight women almost always fall into either fetishising the man or simplifying the woman. Contrary to that, Yeong and Mi Ae's friendship showcases a true bond and platonic love for one another.
Yeong's squad, although I wish we got a closure of them reflecting on their prejudice against HIV patients, I loved their bond and how they showed up for each other. In places where queerness is condemned, having a safe space and safe people who share, love and relate to one another in crucial and it shows during the series.
- The Romance:
very realistic which is why I think the show dropped in ratings here lol. we didn't get the rosy, once in a lifetime love story which we're used to in BL and other queer productions, instead we went through the motions of a young gay man's search for love and companionship. there were times when honesty might've saved the situation but it also might've created a deeper resentment between them. it's a series filled with "what if". I found myself wondering what if Yeong did this or his partners did that, hoping for a "better" outcome, which is sadly very reminiscent of real life.
ultimately, I think the outcome of each of Yeong's relationships was realistic, although depressing.
*the photographer: he can't force himself to love someone even if in his mind, he knows that person is good for him.
*the influencer: ironically, Yeong reaped what he sowed.
*the editor: Yeong can't fight the editor's battles with internalized shame and homophobia for him, it was a dead-end from the start.
*Gyu Ho: even if on paper, they could've worked, it was a bundle of social systems that wrecked their dyncamic. I think of their relationship as an example of "the one that got away", they both weren't growing in the same direction unfortunately.
*Habibi: idk how to describe their "relationship" other than a rebound.
Honorable mentions:
- the acting is very good! I can't wait to see more from Nam Yoon Su.
- love the T-ara songs lol.
- the cinematography is good.
- explicit scenes aren't a cringe fest, hooray ig.
THE ENDING:
open ended. I have no problems with open ended projects if done well, which is what we have in this case. some might be unsatisfied with where the events stopped. However, I enjoyed the growth and developments that we witnessed and as I think the show is realistic, it was yet another aspect of realism. we can't conclude the story just yet, life continues.
OVERALL:
such an amazing show where more could've been done but it ultimately left the door open for interesting conversations. it might be disappointing if you look at it idealistically, but realistically it is very well done.
TRIGGER WARNINGS !!!
Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Sexism, Suicide, Suicidal Ideation, Abortion, Prejudice Against HIV Patients, Sexual Assault (IMO), Cancer, Death.
- MC, aka Ko Yeong:
to put it simply, he's a dynamic character. he can be a bit frustrating at times although I personally didn't feel bothered by those situations. for example, when he aggressively turns down the photographer guy, I couldn't help but think he was being needlessly cruel during the act. however, upon observing the following sequence of events, I understood why he choose to be bluntly honest, to the point of cruelty.
Additionally, I loved how unnerved as a person he is. despite the social dilemmas and often times, outright traumatizing experiences he went through, he remaind optimistic. Watching him grow up and mature was such a delight, albeit gut wrenching at times. His growth regarding love and romance was very relatable as most queer people in conservative places struggle with imagining a happy future with a romantic partner, but that doesn't stop the yearning and loneliness which often feasts on the failures of meeting said yearnings.
- Social Commentary:
I'm impressed with how packed the show was with social commentary on several topics within the show, which is mainly why I think it would be unfair to call the show a BL. no offense to BL fans, I like a fair share of them. However, it's undeniable how facetious and fetishising the industry is as a whole. what sets shows such as Love in the Big City and I Told Sunset About You is that they deal with queerness as a reflection and portrayal of real life rather than arbitrary fiction. that aside, the show deals with a plenty of social taboos, not only concerning queerness, for example:
* Feminist issues: the show has a healthy dose of discussion regarding sexism and feminism, from the shaming of sexually liberated women to abortion to misogyny. although I think more could've been done, the little we got was appropriate and left space for discussion and reflection. ~8/10
* Religious bigotry against homosexuality in a way that mainly focuses on queer people's truama rather than exposing the hypocrisy of religious bigots, which is what I encounter more often. interestingly, we've encountered two very different portrayals of homophobia caused by religion. the first instance being the editor boyfriend whose shame and internalized homophobia pushed him into living a double life. in one, he doesn't deny himself the carnal pleasure of sexual intercourse with Yeong whereas in the other, he viciously contributes to the abundance of bigoted ideologies cemented in academic spaces, something that I personally think is sinister considering SK's hyperfixation on education and pretentious academic achievements. The second instance is Yeong's mum who went from sending her son to conversion therapy to slowly accepting him. Although there was no scene in which they talk it out, I am satisfied with that since change doesnt happen overnight and she clearly didn't have the time to sit it down and deconstruct her prejudice, yet she did give her son the closure he needed in a final act of love. 9/10
* HIV:
This one might be the heaviest imo. the show fleshes out the soical reception of HIV's patients and how prejudice against them is integrated into the fabric of every aspect of life, even queer spaces. we see how Yeong's diagnosis affected his relationship with almost everyone and everything, from potential lovers to friends to work to travel. I think this one is an enough reason to watch the show. so incredibly well done. ~10/10
(regarding the sexual assault trigger warning, proceeding to have unprotected sex with someone and giving them an STD/STI while knowingly being actively reckless with others, is sexual assault in my opinion.)
*Mental Health:
there was an attempt. I don't think it's one of the most impressive or well-done I've seen but it was good enough to deliver the point and delay the emotions of the characters to the viewer. I think they quickly moved from the suicide of the photographer, although they did a good enough job addressing Yeong's attempt. I'm unsure whether i would've liked it better had they spent more time delving into the mental stuggles that queer people go through in a highly difficult environment such as Seoul, nonetheless, I'm satisfied with what we got. 7/10
- The Friendships:
MC's friendship with Mi Ae is quite impressive considering that majority of depictions of the friendship between gay men and straight women almost always fall into either fetishising the man or simplifying the woman. Contrary to that, Yeong and Mi Ae's friendship showcases a true bond and platonic love for one another.
Yeong's squad, although I wish we got a closure of them reflecting on their prejudice against HIV patients, I loved their bond and how they showed up for each other. In places where queerness is condemned, having a safe space and safe people who share, love and relate to one another in crucial and it shows during the series.
- The Romance:
very realistic which is why I think the show dropped in ratings here lol. we didn't get the rosy, once in a lifetime love story which we're used to in BL and other queer productions, instead we went through the motions of a young gay man's search for love and companionship. there were times when honesty might've saved the situation but it also might've created a deeper resentment between them. it's a series filled with "what if". I found myself wondering what if Yeong did this or his partners did that, hoping for a "better" outcome, which is sadly very reminiscent of real life.
ultimately, I think the outcome of each of Yeong's relationships was realistic, although depressing.
*the photographer: he can't force himself to love someone even if in his mind, he knows that person is good for him.
*the influencer: ironically, Yeong reaped what he sowed.
*the editor: Yeong can't fight the editor's battles with internalized shame and homophobia for him, it was a dead-end from the start.
*Gyu Ho: even if on paper, they could've worked, it was a bundle of social systems that wrecked their dyncamic. I think of their relationship as an example of "the one that got away", they both weren't growing in the same direction unfortunately.
*Habibi: idk how to describe their "relationship" other than a rebound.
Honorable mentions:
- the acting is very good! I can't wait to see more from Nam Yoon Su.
- love the T-ara songs lol.
- the cinematography is good.
- explicit scenes aren't a cringe fest, hooray ig.
THE ENDING:
open ended. I have no problems with open ended projects if done well, which is what we have in this case. some might be unsatisfied with where the events stopped. However, I enjoyed the growth and developments that we witnessed and as I think the show is realistic, it was yet another aspect of realism. we can't conclude the story just yet, life continues.
OVERALL:
such an amazing show where more could've been done but it ultimately left the door open for interesting conversations. it might be disappointing if you look at it idealistically, but realistically it is very well done.
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