de kkdrama, Setembro 30, 2020
57

Grab tissues and let's start!!

I apologize beforehand for any mistake or misunderstandings I made while writing the character's stories because it's been a long time since I've watched any of these dramas below.

In any drama, there is at least one character with a trauma/sad past/disturbing childhood... that affected their personality and life decisions... And that character is usually the one that everyone loved and found realistic and interesting; also the character that makes me cry non-stop till my sis makes fun of my red face and posts videos of me on her Instagram (yep that's how heartless she is). I'm a sensitive person and basically what people call a crybaby. I keep telling myself it's just a drama these people are paid to cry, but you're not; still, my tears always betray me!!  

Why do I think that these stories are worth talking about? It's because a part of these stories does happen in real life, unfortunately (abuse, rape, harassment, backstabbing, family issues...) and it highlights how cruel and sad can life be.



  • What is child abuse? 

Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. 

  •  Are there different kinds of child abuse?

There are many forms of child maltreatment, including neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse,  and emotional abuse. 

  • How many child abuse cases are there around the world?

a report of child abuse is made every ten seconds

Globally, it is estimated that up to 1 billion children aged 2–17 years have experienced physical, sexual, or emotional violence or neglect in 2019. According to Child Maltreatment: around 1,720 children died as a result of abuse or neglect in 2017. The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations.

  • What are the effects of child abuse on the child's health and life?

In most cases, children who are abused or neglected suffer greater mental health than physical health damage. Emotional and psychological abuse and neglect deny the child the tools needed to cope with stress and to learn new skills to become resilient, strong, and successful. Some of these children, if not saved and offered professional help, they end up being criminals or victims of gangs and organizations targeting them to exploit them. 


Physical & Emotional Abuse: 

physical abuse: the intentional use of force on any part of a child's body that results in injury 

emotional abuse: anything that causes serious mental or emotional harm to a child, which the parent does not attempt to prevent or address


Chae Yeong Shin 

Healer

The scene where Yeong Shin, with tears in her eyes, tells the woman who's about to suicide her childhood story and that she's been there after being abused (she wanted to end it all and die when she was only 7) and then another scene with the flashback of her crying hiding in a closet broke my heart.

"The pain... may hurt, but it will pass. If you bear it for just a little bit, it will pass by. It will be all in the past" - Yeong Shin

    Yeong Shin is an outgoing, bright, persistent, and very hardworking character.
     As a child, after being abandoned by her parents (they didn't actually abandon her) then adopted and abandoned multiple times again, she fell into the hands of an alcoholic, abusive man and was left at his mercy but he had none. He used to beat her until she had to go to the hospital. He broke her bones, hurt her terribly, left many bruises and scars on her body and traumatized her for a lifetime causing her anthropophobia, that made her have panic attacks whenever she witnesses an act of violence or aggressiveness plus her many nightmares.  

     All in all, her childhood was a nightmare and where she lived was a prison she finally escaped from when she went to an orphanage where she hid herself fearing everyone, not even talking to other kids. That's when her adoptive father found her and decided to take her home with him and take care of her. He was a lawyer who helped criminals let go of their habits and start new lives by providing them with food and some necessities and help them find decent jobs, he was an inspiration to others and his lovely daughter. 

    Yeong Shin's loving big family, consisting of her adoptive father and the criminals he helped before, healed her scars of the past and she grew up to be a righteous, determined journalist who is loyal to her principles. With the help of her boyfriend, she reveals the truth and gets revenge on those who caused her misery. 



Oh Ri Jin 

Kill Me, Heal Me

She cried so much, and she looked so pale and broken when she found out about her nightmare of childhood; it hurt my heart.

This scene was so touching I didn't even notice my tears falling, Ri Jin confronting one of Do Hyun's personalities that rarely showed up which was NaNa who turned out to be non-other than her younger self. She sounded so calm while talking to the little girl and telling her that it wasn't her fault. 



I wanted to kill the whole family for the pain and misery they caused her. Cannot believe how cruel they were, blaming her for things she had nothing to do with. If just looking at her pleading ("Save me. I was wrong") gave me chills, then how could her tormentor and his wife sleep at night after what they've done.

  Just like Yeong Shin, Ri Jin was also mercilessly abused as a child by her father. He beat and punished her for the smallest mistakes, left her to live in a cold dark basement (malnourished and neglected). She begged and cried trembling in fear, but her pleads never seem to reach her brutal tormentor who went as far as threatening her and abusing her emotionally.  She was treated inhumanly, and the whole family witnessed it, but no one stood up for her or even tried to save the poor girl except for a little boy who promised to help her even though he was powerless himself. 

  After an accident, she was saved by her mother's friend, but she lost her memory. And with the love and care she received from her adoptive family she grew up to be a smart, loving and hardworking psychiatrist. 

   And then she met Cha Do Hyun, a rich chaebol with a secret. In the middle of the chaos and the drama, she regained her lost memory, and she was beyond devastated by the truth connecting her and the ML's childhood. I was surprised by how strong she was while facing it, with the help of her family, who stood by her side all along, she was able to get back up even stronger. I loved the fact that she was also brave and forgiving, she wasn't afraid to face the ML, and she didn't run away from him. On the contrary, she made sure to let him know it wasn't his fault; he was also abused mentally by witnessing his father, whom he loved turn into a monster. She said "we had our names taken away" meaning she believes that they were both victims and that they have to keep their promise of fighting together and replacing bad memories with good ones. She even faced her tormentor himself and forgave him for the sake of Se Gi.

   Last but not least, she was there to say goodbye to each one of his personalities bribing them with gifts. I never cried so much. It was so sad yet so funny, and I noticed how much she became familiar with them too (she knew exactly what to gift them and how to please each one of them).


sexual abuse: the improper exposure of a child to sexual contact, activity or behavior

  Type 

TharnType

This, along with the "I just want you to calm down" scene, made my blood boil. Type clearly had a panic attack, and Tharn was acting as if he knew what to do, but he doesn't.  Then he even dares to ask if he's okay!! I'm done.  Watching Type trying to calm himself after Tharn forced himself on him made me so upset.

Again forcing himself to be strong and deal with everything alone it made my heart clench

Type's confession was heartbreaking, and I can tell by his cracking voice that it was so painful for him to talk about. His description of the scene made it even more terrifying, and his tears were threatening to fall, and so were mine. 

"It's okay to hate me." "I hate you." 

The first time, Tharn dealt with the situation the right way. The scene was so touching and full of emotions and love then the hug showing Tharn sharing Type's pain, I melted, and I cried.

     Type hates gays and cannot stand them. Moving into his University's dorm, he met Tharn. Then Type found out that his new friend is gay. After talking to Tharn who confirmed it and refused to move out, Type went mad: insulting Tharn, trying to kick him out, doing childish tricks to annoy him (and watchers too) Later, we get to know the reason he hates what he called "Tharn's kind".
  When Type was 11 yrs, he was sexually abused/raped by a roofer who works in his father's resort. Knowing his love for football, the guy used it to lure the boy into his trap. The man said he knew a football field where type can play and being a child he just followed. Before he knew it, the guy knocked him out, and since he was tiny he couldn't fight back Mention of rape and sexual abuse DO NOT READ if it triggers you Type was tied up to a chair crying, begging but to vain and trashing in the chair trying to break free. The guy closed the door, stripped him (I'm shaking as I'm writing this) groped him and did horrible things to him. Type was disgusted, he felt used and dirty, that place was filthy too. And till this day the memory is still vivid in his mind.
     Type's parents found out, and the guy got what he deserved, the neighbors heard what happened too. Everybody was all over Type asking him if he is okay, saying it could have been worse, calling him a poor kid who only made things worse for him. He was mad because he was clearly not okay; he didn't need their pity too. As a consequence, he stayed home for a while, not wanting to meet or talk to anyone. 
   After the tragedy, he shut people out, dealing with the pain and trauma by himself, and he grew up to be hot-tempered with a dirty mouth and an impulsive personality. His hate for gays filled his mind and clouded his judgement that he condemned them all guilty, disgusting perverts. It was his own twisted way to deal with the hate and disgust he felt towards himself and that guy. 
    It didn't help that he was once again reminded of everything when Tharn sexually abused and harassed him, even forced himself on him. Type was back to crying, dealing with unwanted memories and nightmares. Plus malicious gossip, bullying and the false accusations he received hurt Type a lot, but he chose to shut everyone out and keep the emotionless poker face on.    


  • What does it mean to exploit someone?

To exploit someone means to take unfair advantage of them. It is to use another person's vulnerability for one's own benefit. Taking advantage of someone's need for a job and paying them only pennies to perform work so you can get rich is the most common example of exploitation.

  • What does it mean to manipulate someone?
Manipulation is the skilful handling, controlling or using of something or someone. ... But this word also has some negative connotations — a manipulative person knows how to twist words, play on emotions and otherwise manage a situation in a sneaky fashion to get what he wants.  


  • What's the difference between the two terms?
To exploit is to make full use or benefit from something, while manipulate is to control something skillfully. Manipulators exploit the vulnerabilities that may exist in victims such as a blurry sense of identity, the "disease to please", low self-confidence, self-doubting,...  using methods like lying, denial, rationalization, intimidation, shaming, feigning confusion and innocence... Manipulator's goal is always self-gain, the need to advance their own purposes and the desire for power and control at virtually any cost to others.


  Lee Jung Moon 

Bad Guys

I really pitied Jung Moon; he was manipulated and exploited, treated like an animal, without even releasing it because he would simply forget everything by the next day.

"The 'psychopath' you all speak of, other people's emotions… I can't feel them. So that thing called' emotion'… since I can't feel it, I plan to learn it from you. So I understand why you're sorry but don't hope to be forgiven," The way Jung Moon dealt with the news shocked me, he was extremely wise, he controlled his emotions and focused on what's more important, he chose to be a better person and start afresh. *crying in admiration and respect

"Do you know of this saying? 'Committing sin is the work of man, but justifying one's sin is the work of the devil." "I'm supposed to be the psycho, but why do you look more like a psycho in my eyes?" damn right!! Jung Moon is on fire!!! *crying in admiration and respect part2

     Jung Moon is a psychopath, using this fact Prosecutor Oh Jae Won, who believes that sending criminals to jail is not enough of a punishment, manipulates Jung Moon and frames him for a series of murders by giving him the wrong medicines and leading him to the crime scenes. At the same time, he was the one who actually commits the crimes. Jung Moon was falsely accused but freed due to lack of evidence. 

     Oh Goo Tak, a detective who thinks that Jung Moon is responsible for the murder of his daughter, frames him bribing his girlfriend and pursuing her to testify against him in court and she agreed to play the victim. Jung Moon was sentenced to life in prison confusing and doubt never leaving his head while she received money for what she did. He tried to escape just to find his girlfriend and ask her if he did truly try to kill her and she insisted it's true (what a liar eww).

    Jung Moon then learns about the truth of Prosecutor Oh Jae Won's plan to frame him. After the truth is revealed, Goo Tak joins Jung Moon out on the rooftop, where he explains everything. He then sincerely apologizes for what he's done and asks for Jung Moon's forgiveness while handing over his gun to let the other decide his punishment. But Jung Moon chose to not to kill him and walked away, leaving Goo Tak awaiting for the bullet then he says they have to catch the real murder. The Bad Guys teamed up and planned to bring Jae Won down and make him pay for his crimes.

    There is almost nothing realistic about Jung Moon's story itself but the part that's relatable is the fact that using someone's weakness for your own benefit not even caring if it's going to ruin his life then toss him when you no longer need him is basically how this selfish world works right now.



  Doctor's Son/Jung Shi Hyun 

Cruel City

In this scene, it seemed like the Chief is sort of a father figure for him that's why being betrayed and manipulated by Hong Ki was the most hurtful thing that's ever happened to him.
Looking back at all the scenes of what he thought was a new beginning for him, my tears threaten to fall. It must've felt horrible to release that his leader and the person who changed his life forever is a manipulator and a traitor.
Picture15
"How hard it must've been on him all that time. To live like Park Sa, how hard must it be for him? To live as Kyung Mi's killer, unable to say it hurts even when it hurts... Shi Hyun, I'm sorry. If I weren't here, you'd have lesser hardships. I… My Shi Hyun, I like to see you wear a police officer's uniform."
One of the most memorable scenes of this drama plus his acting skills, I can't. All the pain and sadness he had to endure crashed his cold face mask and turned him into a crying mess. Getting it out of his chest must've made him a bit better.
Picture29
Even though he is not the good guy he thinks he is, he still chose not to shoot Hong Ki who ruined his life. That disgusting liar took the chance and shot him. I was so shocked, everything turned in slow motion for me, my OTP will never get their happy ending, and their last moment 2gether will haunt me forever!!
  Doctor's son or Jung Shi Hyun is an undercover agent. His task was to climb the underground's ladder in order to reach the "Chairman" (the boss) while collecting info to help arrest those drug dealers who ruined many lives, including his mothers.   
      Shi Hyun, in my opinion, had a disturbing childhood and a toxic entourage without even releasing it. Starting from his mother, a prostitute and a drug addict. After her death, he was sent to an orphanage, where he met FL's sister and the two became friends, but he preferred going back to live with Madam Lee (his mother's friend) in a place not really suitable for a child. He was very smart, highly ambitious and a fast learner. He was nicknamed Doctor's son.   
    The first person to exploit him was Safari, whom he started to work for as a drug courier but an incident occurred, he saved himself from the police and left Shi Hyun to get arrested. In the police station, Min Hong Ki informed the latter that his mother died from a drug overdose and that the stuff he used to deliver her were actually drugs, plus he brainwashed him and turned him into his loyal spy.
  Years passed, and Shi Hyun endured everything, completed every task given to him, made sure his identity was kept a secret..., all with chief Min Hong Ki guidance. Every second of his life is like walking on eggshells with no return. His plans were going smoothly, but the death of his childhood friend and meeting her sister was the start of a big storm. While looking for the murder, many buried secrets got revealed, and the result was unpleasant.        

     Shi Hyun was even more devastated than when he learnt about the cause of his mother's death. Finding out the person he blindly trusted was his enemy all along, the person who killed his friend and almost his love, the person who tried to turn his team against him to get rid of him without getting his hands dirty and the person who made a toy out of him probably made him question his whole existence. The fact that he was manipulated and used broke his heart and what's worse is that as much as I hate to admit it, Shi Hyun is nothing more than a lost soul with no identity, no goal and no purpose without Hong Ki, he could be even considered as a drug dealer since, as far as I remember, the records of him being an undercover agent working for the police could be fake and forged, and this is probably the reason they chose for his character to die at the end.  

PS: I personally think that the relationship btw Shi Hyun and Madam Lee is quite disturbing maybe even disgusting. Madam Lee is kind of a pedophile. The scene when she asks 14yrs old supposed to be a son if he wants to touch her boobs, had me almost throwing up!! It gave me chills!! Having sexual interest and a crush in a child is a big no-no!! Plus it makes sense because all along the way she acts and talks around him is suspicious and definitely not mother-like!! This is one of the reasons why I said he had a disturbing childhood and a toxic entourage. (I was surprised that no one said anything about it and everybody seems to love her character)

  • What's a family?
A family is a group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit. The family is the nucleus of human society, the main incubator of its members and an essential source of happiness, tranquillity and stability for them. 
  • What are the most common family issues/problems and their causes?
There is almost no family without differences or problems from time to time. Each member of the family has his own personality traits and tendencies, which is different from the other. 

Family problems mean a kind of troubled relationship between family members which in turn leads to tensions and stressful environment, whatever these problems result from.

Psychological and emotional problems: It is due to the difference in the cases of family members mood and nervous, and ways of their emotions towards the surrounding circumstances.

Cultural problems: the result of different parents in customs and traditions depending on the different way of origin and breeding each.

Economic problems: They are caused by the deteriorating financial situation of the family, whether due to internal or external factors.

Health problems: such as chronic diseases or accidental diseases that face a family member.

Social problems: because of the family relationship with parents' relatives and the relationship of parents to some of them.

Problems of social roles: because of the lack of clarity of the role of each individual within the family, and the multiplicity of roles and struggle, which leads to a disagreement within the family.

  • What's the effect of these issues on the family members and their bond?

Any kind of conflict is going to have an impact on the participants' mental health. Conflict within families can be especially hard because of the close relationships and close contact.

Emotional Development in Children:  Family conflict is damaging to young children who are still developing physically and emotionally. If the caregiver does not provide a safe environment, the child's brain develops differently, causing the child to constantly be on alert. This can result in post-traumatic stress syndrome, anxiety, or depression.

Neglection: Households with high levels of family conflict often neglect young children, either showing negative behavior or limiting their interactions and play. This can create deficits in cognitive development, leading to learning disabilities or children starting school behind grade level. 

Anxiety and Depression: Family conflict can have long-lasting effects, even if children are older. Family dysfunction, including marital stress, negative parenting strategies such as violence and psychological manipulation, are predictors of anxiety disorders later in life.


 Wang So 

Moon Lovers

No matter how much I think about it, there are no words suitable to describe his mother. Shaming her own flesh and blood for sth she caused is beyond any words. She is, without a doubt, the worst villain of all time.
The way he's looking at her got me sobbing, Idk if he's dumbfounded or scared or didn't resist because it's his mother, and he trusts her.
And it doesn't only apply to his "mother", his father is also the worst. Wang So put his life on the line to make sure the crown prince is safe so he got attacked but even though he was injured nobody rushed to him; instead his father rushed to check on the CP and didn't spare him a glance. WORST PARENTS!!! I cannot count the scenes they hurt him so bad that I wanted nothing but torturing them to death. A child like Wang So is a blessing, idiots!

Just a small act of care and his eyes are already sparkly!! It hurts my heart so bad to see him surrounded by people who don't release his worth. Cannot believe he still loves his parents after everything!! I still remember when he was chosen to perform a ritual for rain, how humiliated and hurt he was when people threw mud at him. My tears wouldn't stop falling, and my heart cracked!! They call him a monster, but from the way I see it, they were the real monsters!!! Then the way he runs to hide after his "family" saw him, I can't. It wasn't the first time he had that broken look on his face, because they made him so ashamed of himself. He took off his mask once, and all his brothers looked away as if he was cursed, he felt so ashamed and scared, he runs away.

    Wang So is the saddest loneliest character in history. Being a prince in a country where looks matter the most but sadly having a scar on his face, he was considered a monster, a freak and an ugly rejected royalty. 

      When he was was a child, his mother blamed him for failing to win the King's favor even though she gave birth to a male. While fighting with the King, she used her SON to threaten the latter with a knife!! Things escalated quickly, and suddenly her son is crying and screaming in pain with a bloody face, and that's how he got the scar. 

    As if causing that wasn't enough, his mother disowned him without batting an eye. His father didn't stop her and Wang So was sent to live away from the castle and be raised by a mentally-unstable delusional woman who tortures him when she remembers who he is and treats him with care when she thinks he's her son. But still, he didn't hate his family, his father sends him masks every now and then, and the saddest part is that he was so happy with very little attention and the smallest amount of care from his parents. His loyalty and skills are unquestionable, he completes every task given to him even though their purpose was to get rid of him, and he's well aware of that fact.

    After going back to the castle, he was met with a rather cold welcoming. His mother acts like he doesn't exist and thinks of him as bad luck, his brothers are either scared or disgusted and bullying him or just ignore his presence except for the crown prince who cares deeply for Wang So and sees him for who he truly is: a human being who needs just as much love and attention as others but being constantly misunderstood and bullied. All of a sudden, his mother shows interest in him, he was in euphoria when she invited him over for lunch, but the disappointment that followed after crashed his soul and heart. His mother's intention was to use him to get to the throne.

     Skipping to when his evil brother took over, Wang So, in order to keep his love safe, became a slave for the new King. And it's not the first time he chose the FL instead of his safety and freedom when everyone turned their back on her and did nothing to pull her out of misery. He was always ready to do everything for those he loves, including death, even though most of them don't deserve it. In the end, nobody loved him enough to stay, everyone left him, and he was back to that lonely rejected person (the only thought I had while watching them all leave him with, what I believe, ridiculous excuses was: u damn traitors u don't deserve him!! I just wanted to jump in and hug him). Still, he was a great and wise King who only wanted the best for his people. He never got even to raise his daughter and watch her grow up.

PS: What I wrote is just a glimpse of Wang So's misery and cruel life, and it would take me forever to vent my feelings about the drama and characters. Tbh no matter how harsh he became towards the end, ML: SHR's characters deserve way worse, he was really kind compared to what they did to him. Nobody deserves his loyalty and love in my opinion; they were all so annoying except for the crown prince and the 10th prince's wife. Another thing is that I wish we saw his mother's side of the story, not that it would change how much we hate her but it will at least give us an explanation on why would a mother be this cruel and hate her own child so much. Lastly, about his scar, many pointed out that it wasn't that big of a deal, I thought about it, and I realized that its size doesn't matter at all, in history, the royal family are the Elite, they must be flawless, beautiful and elegant that's why queens are the prettiest women of the country.  

Credits for the owner of this amazing FMV (Wang So I'll be good). Since I couldn't find pics of the scenes, I wanted and couldn't remember the eps I took screenshots from this vid!!

Tin is literately Wang So's incarnation in the modern area: evil neglecting parents, siblings war, being misunderstood and left out, falling head over heels for someone only to get hurt at the end and be left alone again bc sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you.

Tin Medthanan  

Love By Chance

Ouch!! How could a kid be so manipulative, wicked and on top of that, a great actor fooling his brother by pretending to be the nice kid!!

I heard that Tul has his own painful past too, but no way I could not hate him, don't drag innocent people into your war with your demons!! I just wanted to punch him for acting cocky and confident while irritating Tin and rubbing salt into his wounded heart. (this applies to tin too)

Pin em Ships in Shows

(One of my fav whipped-Tin moments) <3

Before, Tin confessed his pain and worries to Can but quickly said he's lying bc maybe he's trusting the wrong person again. When he asked in this scene if his story is true "Will u believe me?" and Can answered immediately "Yes", Tin was shaken by his answer and softened. Since then Tin is whipped.

    Tin, the ice prince is famous for his good looks but his sharp tongue, intimidating gaze and arrogant personality made others prefer to admire him from afar than approach him and get roasted. He believes in social stratification and that the "poor" are gold-diggers that's why he was against his only friend Pete's boyfriend who belongs to a below-average family.

  It turns out Tin's behavior was a protection mechanism that grew within him after being backstabbed by his half-brother Tul

     Tul convinced his father and stepmom to send Tin aboard and even lured Tin into believing it was a good idea. But Tin overheard Tul's phone conversation with his mom and found out how much of a snake his so-called brother was. Then after leaving Thailand, Tul fed his parents lies about his little brother till it was the right time to make his move: he paid some guys to befriend Tin and invite him to a drug party then the police came and even though no drugs were found in Tin's system, the media still made a fuss (as usual) calling him a drug-addict celebrity. His parents condemned him guilty without giving him the chance to explain. They were so disappointed and angry that their son tainted their reputation. After getting drunk, Tul confessed everything to Tin leaving the latter so brokenhearted that he swore never to trust anyone again.

    As for his opinion about "poor" and "rich" should never cross paths, it came from his parents. His mother is his father's second wife; their marriage was based on common interest only, so he grew up to the idea of doing things based on interest, not feelings and marriage is another form of business contract. He never received the love or care a child should receive from his parents; they were distant and indifferent, so he grew up lonely and cold. He said: "Even my name... it comes unintentionally care. They've just come out with a name that sounded close to my half-brothers" with a pained expression.

    It all changed when his Cantaloupe showed up. Tin grew fond of him and did everything he could to keep him by his side. Can showed Tin that he could trust him and rely on him as a "friend". 


Crying emma stone relaxed GIF on GIFER - by Sinwalker

P.S.: I did cry 

I won't even blame you for not reading the whole thing LOL!! 

Hope you enjoyed this anyway!! 

Feel free to share your opinion in the comments! <3 <3 <3


Edited by: Yuanwei (1st editor) & Jojo (2nd editor)

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