Currently Watching: Vampire Detective
It's a hard knock life being single.
Okay, so it isn't always. But around this time of year, when Valentine's Day is just around the corner and there's already that excited buzz of making everything perfect for a significant other, spending a little romantic alone time and that special 'zing' in the air that can only be appreciated by, you know, someone who is happily taken ... you start to wonder whether or not you are missing out on something really special.
(If it's just me, feel free to tell me that it's just me. I can handle it.)
It doesn't help when you're immersed in the drama life. Realistically, logically, we know that life in Korea, Japan and Taiwan or wherever else you're getting your drama feels from isn't the way it seems on the small screen. Realistically, we know that couples have their squabbles, sometimes people who seem perfect for each other break up, and there's no special alien who is going to be living right next door when you need someone to give you some tough love and complicate your life.
Now there is a drama that will wreck any sense of your being a strong, independent, single lady.
I think that part of it stems from how cookie cutter romances are when you boil them down. Particularly in Korean dramas, there's the trope of meeting the person at one point in your childhood. You Who Came from the Stars tosses that in - as if having a handsome, immortal guy from another planet wasn't fantastical enough - and so does I Remember You, My Princess, Healer, and Pinocchio to name a few...though in Pinocchio, Choi In Ha gets the added bonus of having a live-in crush for the better part of her high school, college years and the beginning of her career. Talk about fated.
Even if our leading lady doesn't get to see the guy back when her hair is still in pigtails, the chances that their meeting will be remotely realistic is pretty slim. I mean, who gets to bump into a totally jerky chaebol, win him over with awkward charm, and end up marrying him after a series of wacky, angsty, utterly over the top occurrences? I was unfortunately not able to find a case to cite for you, so I think that may say it all.
From kissing her in front of a crowded bar (Witch's Romance) to barging in on her sheltered, agoraphobic world (Flower Boy Next Door), our hero usually goes above and beyond the call of duty in a way that, sadly, you don't find in the real world. (As a matter of fact, Arang and the Magistrate proves that even death isn't enough to keep you from finding Mr. Right.)
And then there's the easy-breezy adaptation to a heroine's flaws. Let's be honest: none of us wake up looking picture perfect, having that flawless BB cream/lip tint/mascara face most Hallyu stars rock alongside designer pyjamas and improbably glorious bedhead hair. Probably all of us has done something wacky or embarrassing, or has a habit - well, more than a few habits - that she knows she'll show off to 'The One' when she least wants to.
In dramaland, it never seems to matter if you can't cook properly, have a bad hair day or really, really, really embarrassing family members. The hero might taunt you a bit now and then, laugh over your burnt dishes or call for takeout, but it all blows over. You're meant to be, right?
Even Itazura na Kiss ~ Love in Tokyo's perpetually cold, grumpy Irie Naoki transforms over a season into a doting, ever forgiving husband (and father), going from the guy that you're quite sure you'd have more downs than ups with than with a ring-buying, kiss-stealing charmer. Well, mostly. Maybe. If anything, it does give you a sense that marriage is easy as long as you keep smiling and clinging and reminding him how much you love him. (And you can finish school with minimum angst and maximum potential! You can get your dream job, right with your husband, immediately! You can have a baby right when the time is right and your family will be 100% supportive and everything will be perfect, perfect, perfect!)
The thing is, relationships aren't easy. I'm not exactly an expert on it, but as much as my heart aches when the drama ends with the perfect skipping off with a new baby scenario, I try to remind myself that it's not all flowers and sweet smiles and perfect getaways. It's worrisome that by watching too many of these happy endings, too many scary scenarios resolving itself by a quick kiss and a few words, you might be creating unreasonable, unreachable expectations - for a future partner, an established relationship, even communication with your in-laws!
Of course, what I also worry about is how I see myself. Do I cry too much, or too little? Is my face really as hopeless as I'm beginning to think it is? As I consume more and more dramas, I keep reminding myself to have reasonable expectations for myself too: about who I am, how I react to the world, what I look for in a partner and what they will have to accept about me.
Does anyone else think about this? Is it too far of a stretch to consider how dramas might be depressing you about your lack of a love life, or making you a bit too choosy about the one you already have?
